The FANBAM TALK SHOW!
by MissDomaYuset
Summary: WARNING! FanBam may not be suitable for those without a sense of humor or those who have heart problems. This only to be read when you want to laugh so hard, yo mama will smack you! The overload of random stupidity may kill you! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
1. The insanity begans

**I am really so for not posting for a while. My laptop won't connect, and for some ridiculous reason my moms' computer doesn't have word. I am typing this at school, so I have to work fast. Enjoy this little one shot.**

**I do not own Yugioh or Invader Zim.**

**12431265347254276354721354623453**

If you were to turn off the computer right now and turn on the TV, change the channel to 367, and raise the volume a little, you would see the opening theme song for a new talk show. Now, this talk show is different from the rest. For one thing, the host is insane. Characters from fictional stories come on for interviews. And today's episode is no different. Welcome to the FAN-BAM show!

Me: Welcome everyone to the FAN-BAM show! I am your host, Doma Yuset!

Yugi: And I was brought here against my will!

Me: Pay no heed to the little spiky haired hostage everyone!

Yugi: Why couldn't you kidnap Mokuba?!

Me: Because he is currently being kidnapped by your grandfather.

Yugi: WHAT?!

Me: I will like to introduce my first guest, DIB!

Dib: -Falls from a hole in the ceiling- AHH!

Yugi: Are you okay?

Dib: -Looks around- Where am I, Some sort of different dimension?

Me: You could say that. Have a seat, we need to interrogate- I mean_ ask _you a few questions.

Dib: You are clearly insane, but I don't see any reason not to trust you. -Sits on the couch with Yugi-

Me: So, is it true your mother is dead?

Dib: What? No, she is living in-

Me: Oh you poor boy! You must have been traumatized!

Dib: No I'm not. My mom is fine. She is just-

Me: He is in denial! Someone, get him a tissue!

Dib: But- -A truck pulls in and covers Dib in a mountain of tissue paper-

Yugi: …

Me: Now for our next guest, ZIM!

Zim: -Falls though same hole as Dib, but lands on his feet-

Yugi: He is GREEN! What did you do, yank him out of a hospital?!

Me: No, no, he is just an alien here to destroy us all. That's all.

Yugi: Oh, okay…WHAT?!

Zim: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE? Why have you taken ZIM, return me at once!

Dib: -Manages to climb out from under piles of tissue.-

Yugi: Thank Ra, you didn't kill him.

Dib: Is that Zim? I can't tell, I think I have a concussion.

Yugi: You'll get used to it.

Me: SILENCE! Zim, have a seat so I may learn of your awesome Zimmy-ness.

Zim: -Proudly sits on chair and sticks his tongue out at Dib, who scowls-

Me: So Zim, what have you been doing lately?

Zim: Well, I have recently discovered that the stinky filth beasts at home seem to be addicted to ham…

Dib: HAM!? You have to be kidding! You know nothing about humans!

Me: Grins I like ham…

Yugi: Focus Doma!

Me: Huh? Oh, right.

Zim: FEAR THE HAM DIB! -throws a ham at Dib's head-

Dib: You jerk! That hurts!

Zim: Well, that was kind of my plan Dib-stink! And oh, what an ingenious plan it was. Would you like to hear about it?

Dib: IT JUST HAPPNED!

Yugi: I'm confused, how is Zim going to take over the world with ham? I don't even like ham…

Me: EASY! He'll fuse the ham with waffles!

Zim: HOW DO YOU KNOW THE PLAN OF ZIMS!?

Dib/Yugi: THAT MAKES NO SENSE!

Me/Zim: IT DOESN'T HAVE TO!

Dib: -Covers face with hands- Why couldn't I have studied real science?

Yugi: I have saved the world many times with the help of my friends. I can't see how Zim is a threat.

Dib: He is an idiot, but once in a while he stumbles on a somewhat good plan.

Zim: ALL OF ZIMS PLANS ARE GOOD!

Me: Hey! This is MY show! Zim, I have a question for you!

Zim: WHAT!?

Me: Zim, have you-

Zim: WHAT IS IT?

Me: Have you-

Zim: WHAT IS IT?

Me: Have-

Zim: WHAT IS IT?

Me: WILL YOU SHUTUP?!

Zim: Well, if you would just tell me…

Me: -Death glare-

Zim: …

Me: Zim, what is your relationship with Dib?

Zim: I HATE HIM! He smells of human! And CORN! I HATE CORN!

Dib: I DO NOT SMELL LIKE CORN!

Zim: You keep the corn in your gigantic head!

Dib: MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!

Me: SILENCE! While you may CLAIM to hate Dib, how can you explain THIS? -Hands out random copies of ZADR fanfictions-

Zim: LIES! All LIES! How DARE you UGLY SMELLY HUUMANS insult Zim like this! I AM AN INVADER!

Dib: -Runs off the set to puke-

Yugi: Doma, you're traumatizing them!

Me: Yes, isn't it wonderful? -Sighs-

Yugi: …You really are insane.

Me: Let's stop here for a word from our sponsors!

Random announcer: this show brought to you by corn heads, the only corn grown in the human brain.


	2. Deadly

**Finally the commercial ends' and you are brought back to the FANBAM talk show. Well, what's left of it anyway; half the set was destroyed while you were gone. That's what you get for channel surfing fool! And I dont own any of them so SHUT IT! WAHOO!**

Me: And we are back! Pay no heed to the smoldering background!

Yugi: Man, I hope no one got hurt…

Dib: My glasses! Where are my glasses?!

Zim: (Is laughing at Dibs blindness)

Me: Never mind that now! We must play a game…OF DOOM!

Yugi: Dear Ra, she said doom…

Dib: I don't like where this is going.

Me: AND we have a special super awesome guest to help out! Say Hello to our new game host, DEADLY!

Zim: That a horrible name!

Me: SILENCE! Welcome Deadly!

(Hole in ceiling opens but nothing happens)

Dib: Where is…

Deadly: (Suddenly appears next to Dib)

Dib: AHHH!

Deadly: Okay, who was the fool who said my name was stupid?

(Everyone points to Zim)

(Zim gulps)

Deadly: YOU! YOU will be my first victim, I MEAN player! Yes, player is what I meant to say!

Zim: No it wasn't!

Deadly: DON'T CORRECT ME!

Yugi: Doma, you do know you aren't allowed to kill characters on public TV, right?

Me: Screw the rules, I have green hair!

Yugi: No you don't.

Me: SILENCE! Deadly, what is the name of your game?

Deadly: Death Chair. The contestants all sit bound to different chairs, and whoever is the last one to die wins!

Dib: That's an awful game!

Me: Too bad, you're playing too.

Yugi: Um, I think its best we play a game where there wont be a giant homicide.

Me: **_FINE_**! Lets all play a _SAFE_ game. Party pooper…

Yugi: Well excuse me for valuing life!

Zim: COWARD! You know ZIM would just win!

Dib: You do know all players still would have died, right?

Zim: I AM ZIM!

Dib: Are you even listening?!

Zim: Your head is HUGE!

Dib: (Grumbles)

Deadly: Fine, I have a new game. It's called the trust game.

Dib: That sounds innocent enough…

**(Five minutes later)**

Dib: I TAKE IT BACK! I DON'T WANNA DIE!

(Dib is tied up and hung over a tank of acid chocolate)

Zim: I like this game!

Deadly: (Throws Zim in the tank)

Dib: HA! Serves you right you jerk!

Zim: It BURRRNNNSSSS!!!!

Yugi: How are they supposed to win?

Deadly: How am I supposed to know?

Yugi: You created the game!

Deadly: I just wanted to hurt people.

Me: (Sighs) if only NNY was here…

Deadly: 8D He's my brother!

Me: HURRAY! Well, that's all the time we have today, see you next time!

Zim: THE CHOCOLATE! IT'S ALIVE!

(Giant chocolate blob escapes from tank)

Me: …Time for a word from our sponsors!

Random Announcer Guy this episode brought to you in part by torture tools inc. the only place to go to cause slow and painful deaths. Note: there has been a recall on all electric chairs; they have been causing our signature acid chocolate to devour our clients. Torture tools inc. is not in any way responsible for this and we apologize for any imminent deaths this may cause.

And a super special awsome rambow covered thanks to B gal for letting me use Deadly! You rock!


	3. The Hotdog

**Hello viewers! Looks like this isn't going to be a one-shot anymore, does it? Ah well. I want to let you know that I used some quotes from a few videos "LittleKuribo" made on you tube. (Ex: Screw the rules I have green hair) And other little parodies like that. Check him out, he is pretty funny! Almost killed me! Don't worries, 95 percent of this story came straight from my gooey brain. So enjoy!**

**I own NOTHING! YOU! YOU ARE NOTHING!**

Me: YAY! I am BACK FROM THE DEAD!

Dib: You died?

Me: No, I am right here silly!

Dib: But you just said-

Me: As you can see, no one died yet!

Zim: It takes a lot to destroy ZIM!

Yugi: Why do you talk in third person?

Zim: Eh?

Yugi: You talk in third person. Like Elmo from sesame street!

Zim: WHO is this Elmo that you speck of? I WILL DESTORY HIM!

Yugi: Um, he is just a puppet…

Me: DESTORY THE PUPPET!

Zim: WHERE IS GIR!? I need my robot to destroy the Elmo!

Me: Last I heard, he was playing with spoons in spoon world.

(In spoon world)

Gir: SPOONS!

(Back to the show)

Dib: Did we just change scenes?

Zim: YOU LIE!

Yugi: You confuse me. Greatly.

Zim: YOU LIE!

Me: Eh…Anyway, I have gotten a call from your creator Deadly.

Deadly: Oh? What she say?

Me: You have been acting a little OOC, haven't you?

Deadly: Its called acting, deal with it!

Me: NEVER!

Dib: How was she OOC?

Me: Well, she is a fan girl…

Yugi: NO!

Dib: (Grabs heart and fall off chair)

Zim: (Hides under chair)

Me: But only for Zim.

Yugi: Thank god…

Dib: I'm saved…

Zim: (Whimpers)

Me: And she wants to kill Dib.

Yugi: Sucks for you.

Dib: (Whimpers)

Deadly: (Grins)

Dib: (In a whinny voice) Why me?

Me: Because of either the fact you want to kill him or THESE! (Hands out more random copies of ZADR fan fictions)

Dib: But those are all lies!

Zim: What exactly am I doing to Dib…?

Everyone: YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW!

Zim: 0o

Me: Anyhow, while I don't really support the pairing, I do love the angst…

Deadly: Dib is a stupid big-headed fool! I'm glad he gets bullyed into emo-ness!

Dib: (Glares) I am NOT EMO!

Deadly: (Throws random objects at Dib)

Dib: AH! GET AWAY!

Me: Meh, I prefer the Zim angst.

Zim: YOU DARE HURT ZIM!?

Deadly: I WILL KILL YOU!

Me: WAH! I just like angst! Leave me alone!

Deadly: (Starts swinging Dib like a baseball bat at me)

Me: NO! DON'T HIT THE HOST!

Zim: YES! FIGHT FOOLS! FIGHT TO THE DOOM! BWAHAHAHA!

Dib: AHHHHHHH!

Yugi: … (Sitting silently during all this)

Deadly: YOU WILL PAY FOR HURTING ZIM!

Me: YOU hurt ZIM last chapter!

Deadly: Yeah, but that was with chocolate! Painful chocolate is the best way to prove your love! Right boyfriend?

Zim: …

Deadly: I SAID RIGHT BOYFRIEND!?

Zim: …

Deadly: BOYFRIEND!?

Yugi: I think she is talking to you.

Zim: No, she is calling her boyfriend.

Deadly: (Attacks Zim)

Zim: AHHHH-(**Bzztktzzz**)

**Due to technical difficulties, we are forced to watch a boring short until the problem is resolved.**

A happy hotdog sits on a hotdog stand.

"What a great life!" The hotdog said. "I am so warm and tasty on this beautiful day! Nothing can ruin this day!"

A little girl runs up to the hotdog stand and fell in love with the hotdog. "I LOVE YOU HOTDOG!"

And so the little girl and the hotdog got married. But they got into a large argument.

And the girl ate the hotdog.

And the hotdog died.

And all the monkeys danced the happy go fun day dance.

Yay.

**Okay, now that was fun. Back to the boring part of the show.**

Zim and Dib are seen fighting over a banana.

Dib: I'M SLIM SHADY!

Zim: NO! I ZIM IS SLIM SHADY!

Dib: I AM!

Zim: I AM!

And Deadly and I are trading fan art.

Me: Ummm…I trade you this chibi Zim picture for that angsty Dib one.

Deadly: Deal. And I'll trade you this art of Zim beating up Dib for that Zim beating up Dib one.

Me: No way! This one is beyond angsty!

Yugi: …You all have problems.

Everyone: (Glares at Yugi)

Me: WE ARE FAMILY, ME YOUR BROTHERS SISTER AND ME!

Dib: STOP! For the love of all things supernatural, STOP!

Zim: MY EARS! THEY BLEED!

Yugi: YOU DON'T HAVE EARS!

Zim: SILENCE!

Me: THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND…

Deadly: (Screams and hits the host over the head with a baseball bat)

Me: (Lying on the floor, knocked out)

Deadly: Finally…

Gir: (Runs in) PEANUT BUTTER JELLY! PEANUTBUTTERJELLYPEANUTBUTTERJELLY WITH A BASEBALL BAT!

Everyone: (Screams. They all scream in pain)

Camera man: CUT TO COMMERCIAL!

Random announcer guy: (holds up a base ball bat) This show brought to you by… you know what I don't get paid enough for this…(knocks him self out with bat)


	4. OOC Killing Spree!

**Welcome back! And as your lovely authoress, whom has brought you laughter, I ask you to give me your souls. Yes, I said your souls. They are mine. Give them to me. Give them to me now.**

_**Here comes Johnny!**_

**-Raises ax-**

**I am not going to hurt you.**

**I just want to bash your brains in…**

**Oh yeah, and I don't own Invader Zim.**

Me: Hello everyone! Welcome back!

Dib: Wait, you still want us here? Why?

Me: Well, my brother seemed to have deleted a chapter from another story I am working on, so I have to re-type it.

Yugi: What does that have to do with us?

Me: STOP ASKING ME QUSTIONS!

Zim: I AM ZIM!

Dib: We know who you are! Stop screaming that!

Zim: …YOU ARE AFTER MY ROBOT BEE!

Dib: Do you EVER listen?!

Zim: LIES!

Yugi: That's a no….

Me: In other news, Deadly is in Canada!

Dib: (Silently cheers)

Yugi: Really? Why?

Me: Well, she wants to kill you. But I can't let her do that. I might lose ratings.

Dib: So nice that you care.

Me: So I told her to take out the biggest treat to Zim's availability.

Yugi: Which is…?

Me: The OOC Dib's!

Dib: Wait, OOC Me's?

Me: You being out of character. There are so many twisted personalities; they all have a life of their own. So Deadly is out on a hunting spree!

Yugi: But why Canada?

Me: DO NOT QUSTION THE LOGIC OF CANADA!

Yugi: I wasn't!

Me: SILENCE!

**In Canada**

Deadly: Now, where is…

Emo Dib: Everyone hates me! My sister is abusive and my Dad doesn't understand me! (Sobs) And my mom is dead…I think….I MUST CUT MYSELF!

Deadly: (Shoots Emo Dib) Dear lord, why do people LIKE that! Its so…

Pregnant Dib: LOLZ! I am pregnant! It's impossible, BUT WHO CARE! LOLZ!

Deadly: (Screams and shoots Pregnant Dib) WHAT IN SEVEN HELLS WAS THAT?! I swear those fangirls… Ah well, its good target practice.

SUPER-ANGEY-DIB: RA! LOOK AT ME! I have PROLBEMS! I wear MAKEUP! I like the word !&#&! _SCREW ME!_

Deadly: …. (Reloads gun) I hope I have enough bullets…

**Back to the studio**

Dib: …I think I am scared for life…

Me: That's great Dib!

Zim: So that that stink beast is finally gone!?

Me: Not really. I'll bring her back once I think of a super cool game we can play.

Yugi: Does it involve chocolate?

Me: Maybe…

Yugi: I'm leaving.

Me: You can't! You are the star!

Dib/Zim: WHAT!?

Yugi: I am not even in the IZ show!

Me: I know! But look at this! (Throw a bunch of reviews) The people LOVE YOU!

Zim: LIES! How can the people resist ZIM!

Dib: Or me? I was the hero!

Me: I KNOW! But its all "Yugi is so funny!" and "Yugi makes me laugh!"

Yugi: But I never told a single joke!

Me: (Nods) The people must be buying that super toast…

Dib: Yeah…HEY! Are you insulting my dads work!?

Zim: YES! VICTORY FOR ZIM!

Me: I would never!

Yugi: Can we change the subject….?

Me: Of course you adorable child!

Yugi: What the Ra are you talking about?! I am older then you!

Dib: But you are so short…

Zim: Your hair…Is it alive?

Yugi: No, its not!

Me: IN OTHER NEWS!

Yugi: Thank you…

Me: YUGI'S HAIR SPEAKS OUT!

Yugi: Would you shut up about my hair!?

Me: LOL, I joke! But really, I have discovered something creepy…

Dib: I don't want to know.

Me: TOO BAD! I have discovered NEW pairings!

Zim: Will this cause the Dib much pain? (Eager look)

Me: Sorta. The Pairing is Dibs Dad with YOU ZIM!

Dib: WHAT?! NO! NEVER! PEOPLE ARE SICK!

Zim: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO! NO! NOOOOO!

Me: It's true! Buts its Zim's fault. YOU talked to him that one time.

Zim: LIE! LIE! YOU LIIIIEEEEE!

Dib: Let me get this straight, if any character, at all were to so much as to speak to another; that is grounds for a pairing!?

Me: Almost! There is also the Scooge and Tak pairing!

Dib/Zim: Who?

Me: Don't tell me you forgot! Tak, the purple Irken?

Dib: Oh yeah…I have her ship…

Zim: If I ZIM cannot remember, then it's NOT important to ZIM!

Me: Too bad, they pair you up with them ALL the time!

Zim: LIES! MAKE SILENCE NOW!

Me: NEVER!

ZIM: (Attacks the Host)

Yugi: Stop it you guys!

Me/Zim: (Sissy fight)

Dib: ….

Yugi: ….

Me/Zim: (Still fighting)

Dib: Should we stop this?

Yugi: We should…

Dib: …

Yugi: …So. Who wants food?

Dib: Me! I am starved!

Yugi/Dib: (Gets Food)

Me/Zim: (STILL FIGHTING!)

**NEW Random Announcer Lady: This show is brought to you by OOC Guns! The only death guns know to kill OOC-ness slowly and painfully! Side effects include: Vomiting, craziness, flamers, and mobs of angry people!**


	5. Brittish Robots

**Look at me! I am writing another chapter! I break my back writing quality works of art, and all you people care about is a sloppy humor fan fiction! Dear Ra, there isn't even a real paragraph! Bloody tarts….**

**AND NO! I don't own Invader Zim.**

**AND STOP LAUGHING AT ME!  
**

**I MEAN IT!**

**LEAVE ME THE FREAK ALONE!**

Me: Good day my fellow viewers. Today, we shall have a sane episode.

Yugi: You are joking, right?

Dib: Did she finally get therapy?

Zim: HA! No human is more sane then ZIM!

Me: Of course not.

Zim: YOU LIE!

Me: …

Dib: Aren't you going to say anything?

Me: No.

Yugi: You are letting Zim have the last word?

Me: Yes.

Zim: VICTORY FOR ZIM!

Me: (Yawns)

Yugi: I am getting a little scared…

Dib: Well, at least I am not in pain…

Zim: (Pokes host) Eh? Is it broken?

Me: Nothing is broken Zim. Please return to your seat.

Yugi: SHE DIDN'T SNAP AT ZIM!

DIB: IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!

Zim: CURSE YOU HUUMAN! CUURRSSEE YOOOUUUU!!!

Me: What the bloody hell are you jabbering about?

Dib: Wait….

Yugi: 'Bloody Hell', 'Jabbering', the polite attitude… That could only mean…

Zim: The British has unleashed a mind control weapon!

Me: (Robotic twitch) Please sit. Care for a spot of tea? (Robotic twitch)

Zim: KILL IT! KILL IT!

Yugi: NO! It's still Doma!

Dib: …So?

Yugi: …Good point.

Zim: (Bashes host with baseball bat)

"Me": (Robot head comes off)

Yugi: She was a robot!

Dib: Then where is she?!

The-Real-Doma: (Walks in) Ah, I see you have met my robotic clone!

Yugi: Clone? Its personality was the complete opposite of yours!

Dib: Yeah, it was polite, sane, and almost normal….Wait…

Yugi: D'oh! We could of off'ed you and kept the robot!

Zim: Where did you get such a PITAFUL excuse for a robot? TELL ME!

Robot Head: **Btkzzz** All hail the queen. **Btzzzk**

Me: It was made in Great Briton. Real cheap too.

Dib: Just when I thought things couldn't get any stranger…

Me: I am super happy today! I updated one of my other stories!

Zim: What does that have to do with the mightiness of ZIM!?

Me: Nothing, it was a yugioh story.

Yugi: More fame for me!

Dib: Show off!

Yugi: Hey, you got cancelled, not me.

Dib: Well at least I am not going to be replaced with a new dorky cast!

Yugi: That was low!

Zim: Ah-DUH! I am going to throw down a face down!

Yugi: Blame Kaiba, he made the school!

Dib: Who?

Zim: What school? Does it teach Doom?

Yugi: …I don't think they really teach anything. Kinda like your school.

Dib: Hey!

Yugi: Doom, doom, doom!

Zim: DO NOT MOCK THE DOOM!

Me: That's enough you three.

Dib: He started it!

Yugi: Well you deserved it!

Zim: YOU ALL SMELL OF HUMAN!

Yugi: …

Me: Um, thanks?

Dib: He acts like this EVERYDAY! How can they believe he is a human?!

Zim: I am so a human stink beast! LOOK AT MY PANTS!

Yugi: No one cares about your pants!

Me: GUEESS WHAT!?

Everyone: WHAT?!

Me: We have another guest!

Zim: WHO IS IT!?

Me: It's is…

Zim: WHO IS IT?!

Me: **DON'T START WITH ME!**

Zim: …

Me: It's GIR!

Dib: I though Gir was already here.

Me: Well, I didn't get to introduce him on the account I was knocked out and all.

Yugi: GIR? You mean that insane little robot that was running around last chapter?

Me: Yep.

Zim: He isn't insane, HE IS ADVANCE!

Dib: You keep telling yourself that.

Gir: (Runs in wearing a chicken suit) WHOO! LOOKY ME! I AM A HOTDOG!

Yugi: AHH! (Surprised and jumps on the chair)

Zim: (Yawns)

Dib: (Rolls eyes) Stupid human…

Me: GIR! YOU HAVE COME! (All happy)

Gir: Yes miss crazy, YAY!

Me: WHO YOU CALLING CRAZY!?

Dib: You. You are insane.

Me: Yes. Yes I am.

Yugi: What is that thing?!

Me: It's a robot!

Zim: NO! It's an earth dog! …And it seems to be going though a normal chicken mutation. It's normal.

Gir: MASTER! (Hugs Zim)

Zim: NO! NO! ZIM NEEDS NO HUGS!

Dib: (Laughs) (Pauses) Um, do people pair them up too?

Me: Yes. But Gaz and Gir are more popular.

Dib: …That doesn't make any sense!

Yugi: Ya think?

Gir: (Jumps on Yugi) WHY IS YOUR HAIR SO POKEY?!

Yugi: GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

Dib: (Attempts to help Yugi)

Gir: (Pulls Yugi's hair)

Yugi: OW! OW! OW!

Zim: What the Irk, the hair is real?!

Me: The rumors have been dismissed!

Gir: (Lets go) YAY!

Yugi: (Rubs head) That really hurts!

Me: That's awesome! MORE PAIN FOR EVERYONE!

Everyone: NO! NO MORE!

Gir: I am gonna make waffles!

Me: (Picks up a toy bus and a beaver)

Dib: Stay away! Stay away!

Zim: STAY AWAY HUUMAN! I'LL LAY EGGS IN YOUR BRAIN!

Yugi: …Is that possible? No, wait, don't answer that.

Me: PREPARE FOR PAIN!

Everyone: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! (Hugs each other out of pure terror)

Me: (Takes a picture) YES! This is going straight to the internet!

Dib: You wouldn't dare!

Yugi: Doma, that was mean!

Zim: NNOOOO! Zim was FORCED! Uh, THE DIB MIND CONTROLED ME!

Gir: YAYAY! We were HUGG'IN!

Me: Well, that's all for today! See you next time!

Dib: GET THAT PHOTO!

Me: (runs)

Everyone: (Chases)

**Random Announcer Man: This episode was brought you by the CRAZY HOME! The only place where overworked saps like me go for treatment. A place where these guys so very desperately need to go. Seriously. **


	6. Read me fool!

**Meh, I don't have much to tell the viewers today.**

**Not much at all…**

**Umm…**

**Enjoy the story?**

**Oh, and I don't own IZ.**

**And I hate Youtube now…**

**FREEDOM OF SPEECH! PREACH IT LOUD, PREACH IT PROUD!**

**That's all.**

Me: Hello! Hello! AND HOLA!

Zim: YES! The people want ZIM! ZIM TIME!

Yugi: Where is Dib?

Me: Hrmm….I don't know….

Yugi: He escaped?! Without me?!

Me: You wish. Outside is a group of man-eating dogs, fan girls, and republicans.

Zim: Zim can destroy those things in an instant!

Me: The fan girls?

Zim: …

Yugi: So he must still be here?

Dib: (Hiding behind the couch building something)

Me: AH HA! There you are!

Dib: NO! I am not done yet!

Yugi: What are you doing?

Dib: I am going to get out of here!

Zim: YOU LIE!

Dib: I have built a cell phone that can call people from other universes!

Me: Cool!

Dib: You can't stop me! All I need is some batteries and…

Me: Here you go!

Dib: (Takes batteries) Thank. NOW YOU CAN NEVER STOP ME!

Me: You know what you need? Ice-cream.

Dib: You really think so, that sounds…NO! You will not tempt me with your icy dessert!

Me: More for us!

Zim: I don't want any! IT BURNS!

Me: (Pulls a lever)

Zim: (Gets covered in Ice-Cream) AHHHHHHHH! IT BRUNS! CURSE YOU!

Dib: … (Dials a number)

Yugi: Who are you calling?

Me: He is calling dead mother!

Dib: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT?! SHE IS NOT DEAD!

Me: DENIAL! TISSUE NINJAS, ATTACK!

Gir: I ate 'em all!

Me: WHAT?! Noooooo!

Dib: Come on…come on… YES! Dad, you have to help me!

Professor Membrane: Ah, it's my son! Listen, I don't have time right now…

Dib: No! You don't understand! I am being kidnapped!

Professor Membrane: What?! By who!?

Dib: By an insane host of this awful talk show on a different universe!

Professor Membrane: … My poor insane son. (Hangs up)

Dib: DAD NO!

Me: (Throws an orange at Dib's head) My show is not awful!

Zim: IT SMELLS AS BAD AS DIB!

Dib: I DON'T SMELL BAD!

Yugi: You all smell bad…

Zim/Dib: (Death glare)

Yugi: HA! I have grown an immune to that stare since I met Kaiba!

Zim: YOU LIE!

Me: WHOO! INVADER KAIBA!

Everyone: (Silence)

Me: …Anyhow…

Gir: I SMELL LIKE A PUPPY!

Me: Gir, you crazy-yay!

Gir: Master' likes girl dresses!

Zim: GIR!

Gir: Whhhaaaaattt????

Zim: Go AWAY!

Gir: Okay DOOKIE! (Falls asleep)

Dib: (Laughs)

Zim: SHUT YOU PIE HOLE HUUMAN!

Dib: Whatever.

Me: I have BIG NEWS. Bad and good.

Dib: Knowing you, they both must be bad.

Yugi: I don't know, maybe the bad is good?

Zim: But if the bad is good, and the good is bad….ugh…

Dib: Don't think too hard.

Zim: ZIM will think when chooses to think!

Me: SILENCE! I will start with the bad news! Youtube has deleted a bunch of Invader Zim videos!

Zim: (Gasps) How will the people learn of Zim now?!

Dib: (Gasps) How will the people learn how much cooler then Zim I am?!

Yugi: YEAH! Anime is safe!

Everyone: (Death Glare)

Yugi: …Okay, you guys are creeping me out…

Everyone: (Continues death glare attack)

Yugi: …Umm…

Everyone: (Glares, glares, glares)

Yugi: …LOOK! ITS 4KIDS!

Zim: Who?

Yugi: Oh, I forgot. You are American cartoons. (Mumbles) Lucky sons of a…

Me: So people are reloading their videos to different sites! People are leaving Youtube!

Dib: Wait, is the bad news is the videos are being deleted or people are leaving?

Me: I don't know, that's for you to decide. But now for the good news!

Zim: WHAT IS IT!?

Me: The good news is…

Zim: WHAT IS IT?!

Me: RHAAAA! (Ties up Zim to a pole, and gags him with tape)

Zim: MPHH!

Me: A few days more and its Valentines Day! YAY!

Yugi: I never have seen you happy about that day before…

Me: That's because I didn't have a chance to destroy mankind then!

Dib/Yugi: WHAT!?

Me: I was kidding! But I do have something planed!

Dib: I'm scared…

Me: But I'll save that insanity for the next episode! YAY!

Yugi: Ra help us…

**Spokes Kid: Yo, waz up me hommies! REPERSENT! I just wanna give a holler out for me peeps back home and some street cred for the new cereal WHITE-O's! The only flakes for a wanna be gangsta corn flake like me! WHITE AND NREDY ROCKS! **


	7. ZADR! LOLZ 1one!

**Welcome to the newest chapter of Fan Bam!**

**As a special treat, I have inserted a ZADR story that I had written myself!**

**But before you get any ideas, I want to make it clear I am making fun of the majority of the unoriginal plots of ZADR stories. I am not singling anyone out so relax.**

**Also note, while I do not support ANY of the pairings, it doesn't mean I hate the pairings. I love and appreciate works of art and fan fictions that have a lot of work and thought put into it, regardless of the message the artist it setting out.**

**Unless its incest.**

**You guys make me sick.**

**WARNING: Story was written in Valley-girl language.**

**Disclaimer: DON'T OWN! DON'T SUE!**

Me: Happy Belated Valentines everyone!

Zim: BAH! You humans and your filthy stinky pig love!

Dib: I hate valentines. Its nothing but a greeting day holiday.

Yugi: You only feel that way because you don't have a girlfriend.

Dib: Oh, and you do?

Yugi: Yes! But thanks to this bizarre kidnapping, I couldn't get her anything!

Dib: You are on a different universe. I am sure she would understand.

Yugi: That's the thing! I have been to so many other realms, I lost track! Anzu will just think I am avoiding her!

Dib: So you are basically screwed.

Yugi: Yes. Thank you Doma. (Death glare)

Me: You are welcome! Oh, and I stole your phone Dib!

Dib: Hey!

Me: (Calls someone)

Zim: What are you doing you smelly human?!

Me: Calling Deadly!

Deadly: (On speaker phone) Hello?

Me: Hey Deadly! How is Canada?

Deadly: Freezing! I am going to rip out your brains when I come back!

Me: That's great! Any luck killing the OOC Dib's?

Deadly: Yes, every last one of them. (Sighs) But sadly there are more threats to Zimmy's availability!

Zim: WHO IS IT?! NO one is worthy to date Zim!

Yugi: Deadly can kick your butt.

Zim: LIEESSS! LIE, LIE, LIE! The spiky short boy LIES!

Yugi: I am not short!

Me: SILENCE! Who is the threat?!

Deadly: It's an awful gang of strange monsters called Mary-Sues!

Yugi: (Screams)

Dib: Not Mary-Sues!

Zim: KILL THEM! KILL THE SCUM!

Deadly: Is that Zimmy? Oh, Zimmy! Tell him I said hi!

Me: Deadly says Hi!

Zim: I can hear her you moron!

Me: Oh. Well, I have more news. But Deadly may not like it so I shall hang up now.

Deadly: Don't you dare you little… (Click)

Me: In the sprit of Valentines Day, I wrote a ZADR story!

Dib: NOOOO!

Zim: YOU ARE EVIL! EVIIILLLL!

Yugi: I thought you didn't like the pairing…

Me: I don't. I HATE it. So I made fun of it!

Dib: Oh, you mean like Scary Movie or something?

Me: I SHALL READ IT ALOUD!

Zim: EEEVVVVVVIIIIIIILLLLLLLL!!!!

Me: AH-_HEM!_

_**Story**_

_So like Zim was totally tall now and was somehow in the same class with Dib, who was also totally tall. Mrs. Bitters somehow didn't age and somehow was still alive and was somehow still teaching Dib and Zim like a creepy stalker teacher thing. This was like, totally creepy._

_Then like the Tallest, they called Zim and was all, "Ha-ha, You are a defect! Your mission was a lie so LOLZ!" _

_And they hung up making Zim all, "OH NOEZ! I is EMO now! I must be depressed and turn to my enemy for some moral support before I like totally cut myself and go into a rad drug high!" So he ran to Dibs home._

_And Dib was going like, "No one loves me! My sister is like totally mean and my father like totally doesn't love me and my mom is the yeti! I will go see Zim before I go all sudicidal on their butts!" So he goes to see Zim._

_Then they like met each other half way and was like, "OMG! We are both totally Emo!" So they totally stopped hating each other and started to like fall in love or something._

_Then Zim was all like, "Yo Dib-boo! I wuv you! Lolz!"_

_And Dib was like, "ZOMG! I like totally feel the same way!"_

_And somehow, Zim's basic biological features like totally mutated in a few minutes, NO; A FEW FAN GIRL SECONDS! So Zim was like having human parts!_

_Then like, the author like totally destroyed the computer, not like wanting to see what happens. But that was totally not smart 'cuz now her computer won't work. The readers have to wait or something for the story to come back._

_So they wait._

_And wait._

_ZOMG! The computer is like totally fixed! On with the story!_

_So like Dib was like totally pregnant and gave birth to a hybrid! The smeet was like totally cut and totally didn't need a pak somehow! Throw those biology books out the window kiddies! ZADR fans KILLS brain cells! Like, ZOMG! LOLZ!_

_And the smeet was like named, Zab-Zib-Dap-Gem-Do-Ga-Dee-Dee-Bee! And Zim somehow fell in love with the smeet! Dib got even more Emo, and was like totally angsting!_

_Then like Gaz walked in the door and was all, "How did this all happen in four hours?!"_

_And Dib was all like, "I like totally don't know! Lolz, I am SUPER EMO!"_

_Gaz glared at her brother and was all, "Who are you and what have you doe to my real slightly less obvious emo-ish brother?"_

_Zim and Dib were all like, "Like OMG! She is like totally on to us!"_

"_Stop talking like that!"_

"_Like, talking like what? Lolz."_

"_Stop talking like n00b's!" Gaz yelled. "Who is the idiot that is narrating this?"_

_So like Zab-Zib-Dap-Gem-Do-Ga-Dee-Dee-Bee, Zim, and Dib like totally pointed at me and… Uh-oh…_

_**Doma stops reading**_

Me: That's funny, this isn't my story…

Dib: Really? The story sucked enough to be your story.

Me: HEY!

Yugi: How do you know it's not your story?

Me: Well, the first part is, but I don't remember putting Gaz in the story.

Zim: EVIL!

Me: Will you shut up?!

Zim: NEVER! I AM ZIM!

Yugi: Why does he keep saying that!?

Zim: SILENCE HAIR!

Yugi: WHY YOU…

Zim/Yugi: (Starts to fight)

Dib: Why don't you keep reading? I am a bit curious about seeing my sister in that story.

Me: Meh, why not.

_**Story continues**_

_Gaz glares at Doma. "I will doom you so bad! Get me out of here!" She yelled. "Who was the idiot that stuck me in this horrible story?!"_

_**Doma Stops reading**_

Me: Dib! I think your sister is stuck in my story!

Dib: She is going to kill you! Then she is going to kill me!

(The pages start to float in mid air)

Gaz: (Voice is coming from the story) Who stuck me in here!?

Me: HE DID!

Zim: 0.0; Wait, huh?

Yugi: HA! (Kicks Zim in the head)

Dib: YAY! Go Yugi!

Yugi: (Huffs) Dang genes, I didn't ask for this hair!

Gaz: HEY! Get me OUT OF HERE!

Me: Okay! (Takes out a magic wand) Super fan girl fluffy Mary-sue magic spell! LOLZ!!1!one!

Dib: WTH?!

Gaz: (Is standing in front of us, perfectly normal) What in unholy blazes was that?!

Me: I killed an n00bish fan girl and stole her powers! YAYNESS!

Zim: Ewww, you smell of smelly fan girls!

Me: … Ewww…You are right, I am going to take a bath…. (Walks out of the room)

Deadly: (Runs in the room) Where is Doma?!

Dib: She just left…

Deadly: I wasn't asking you!

Zim: (Hides behind chair)

Deadly: ZIM! I have found you!

Zim: LIES! IT'S ALL LIES!

Gaz: And who the hell are you?!

Deadly: I am Deadly!

Gaz: No, what is your name!

Deadly: That is my name! Deadly!

Gaz: That's a stupid name!

Deadly: IS NOT!

Gaz: IS SO!

Deadly/Gaz: (Has a super cool to-the-death match)

Yugi: They are destroying the set!

Dib: I don't know who to root for…

Zim: BWAHAHAHHAHA! FIGHT FOOLS, FIGHT TO THE DEATHS!

Cameraman: Doma isn't going to like this…Cut to commercial!

**Random Announcer Man: This show has be brought to you by INSANE RAGE! It's what the host will go into when she finds the two scary people fighting and destroying her set! Hahaha, I sure am glad I am not on THAT show!**

**Boss: Actually, you will make a cameo next chapter.**

**Random Announcer Man: What?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!**


	8. Johnny C RUN!

**Now is the newest chapter of fan-bam! YAY!**

**Oh, and stop your whining!**

**I am bringing Johnny the Homicidal Maniac into the show.**

…**I am going to die, aren't I?**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Invader Zim or JTHM**

Me: (Walks back into room) I feel so relaxed and… WHAT THE FLIPPING RA HAPPENED HERE?!

Deadly: (Standing on a torn up couch holding a chainsaw) She started it!

Gaz: (Holding a spiked club and standing on Dib) Did not you liar!

Dib: Spine…breaking…

Zim: (In a cage) RELEASE ZIM! I will rain doom on you all! Do you hear me? DOOM!

Yugi: I just want to play some card games and hang out with my friends. Why am I always stuck with the homicidal wack jobs?

Me: Homicidal? Wait…

Dib: Seriously Gaz! I hear bones cracking!

Gaz: Whiner. (Get off, but kicks him)

Dib: Ow…

Me: I think someone was supposed to visit us.

Deadly: (jumps off couch) Who?

Me: Johnny C. something…

Deadly: LIKE OMG!

Gaz: (Raises club)

Deadly: Whatever.

Gaz: (Growls)

Dib: She doesn't like fan girls.

Yugi: Can't blame her.

Gaz: Your hair is stupid.

Yugi: (Twitches)

Deadly: Is Nny really coming?

Me: Yes!

Zim: I MEAN IT! Get me out of here!

Dib: Zim, the cage door is still open.

Zim: YOU LIE!

Dib: Right… So when is Johnny coming?

Me: NOW!

(Doors open all dramatic like)

Dib: No one is…

Johnny: (Appears right next to Dib)

Dib: HOLY! (Nearly has a heart attack)

Johnny: Nice to meet you too.

Dib: Sorry, you just scared me.

Johnny: WHY!? Am I scary?! Well, _SPORK_ YOU!

((I would like to thank 4Shame for the dubbing. Thank you. And enjoy the gift I sent you. (Crackles evilly)))

Dib: No! You are not scary! Don't eat me!

Me: Dib, no one wants to eat you.

Gaz: Forgive him. He is crazy.

Deadly: (Runs up to Johnny.) Hello!

Johnny: …

Deadly: So, how are you? (All sweet and what not)

Me: She likes the word WACKY!

Johnny: But that's not even a word! Wacky? WACKY!?

Deadly: She is lying! Doma, I am going to kill you!

Me: Bring it sister!

Zim: …They are related?

Deadly: You asked for it! (Runs at me)

Me: (Imitates really bad karate moves) Ooo WAAA!

Deadly: …That's just sad.

Johnny: That's not how you fight! This is how you do it! (Grabs Camera man)

Camera Man: Someone help me!

Johnny: Don't worry. This will only hurt a lot.

((**A few agonizing minutes later**))

Dib: My eyes, MY EYES!

Zim: That _was_ interesting… (Scribbles notes on a piece of paper)

Yugi: Blood, so much blood! (Hiding in a corner)

Deadly: (Taking notes like Zim)

Johnny: And THAT'S how you are supposed to drain a body of its blood. (Holding a bucket full of blood)

Me: That's great! But now he is dead…

Johnny: Well, that's the point.

Deadly: Nny! I love you!

Johnny: FAN GIRL! The only beast worst then a cheerleader!

Me: And Republicans!

Deadly: No! I am different! Now get in the sack!

Johnny: Heh, you know what… (Suddenly slams the bucket o' blood in Deadlys' face, high kicks and stands smirking)

Deadly: That's not nice! (Covered blood and looks really, really scary)

Yugi: Bloody hell! It's a fan girl!

Gaz: That…That was a horrible joke.

Yugi: I tried.

Gaz: Shut up.

Deadly: Boyfriend…

Zim: Take it from ZIM! RUN!

Johnny: 00; (Runs)

Deadly: BOYFRIEND! (Chases)

Zim: Heh, tag. You're it.

Me: In other news!

Yugi: Am I the only one freaking out about the dead body?!

Dib: No!

Gaz: Whiners.

Body: (Without warning, explodes)

Everyone: (Screams)

Me: (Gasps) Johnny killed the Exploder Man!

Dib: (Claws at the door) Get me out! GET ME OUT!

Gir: Whoo! It's like a party in here!

Yugi: There is no way I will be able to get over this trauma!

Gir: I made waffles!

Everyone: … (Eats waffles)

Random Announcer Guy: (Runs in) Why is the room red?

Me: Exploder Man, the camera man exploded.

Random Announcer Guy: So I am standing in…

Me: Yep.

Random Announcer Guy: And you people are covered in…

Me: That's right.

Random Announcer Guy: … Oh man.

Me: Oh, look at the time! We have to go!

Random Announcer Guy: **T-t-this show b-brought to you by The City Morgue.**

**You Stab 'm, We Slab 'm … I need to see my therapist now.**

Me: I thought the Camera Man_ was_ your therapist.

Random Announcer Guy: …Oh god.


	9. CAT CHA!

**You people are in luck! I feel super random today!**

**Also, there may be a character death or too in here.**

**I think…**

**Just read it and decide for yourself!**

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own the Zim! Don't sue me!**

Me: And welcome back!

Deadly: Listen, you WILL get in the sack! Its destiny!

Johnny: Screw destiny, you are nuts!

Yugi: They are still going at it?

Dib: Yep…

Deadly: GET IN THE SACK!

Johnny: NO!

Deadly: YES!

Johnny: I SAID NO!

Deadly: I SAID YES!

Johnny: I SAY STAB YOU!

Deadly: I SAY…Huh?

Johnny: (Stabs Deadly in the arm)

Deadly: OW! You jerk! (Stabs Johnny back)

Johnny: (Stabs, stabs, stabs)

Deadly: (Stabs, stabs, stabs)

Gaz: Stupid homicidal killers…

Johnny/Deadly: (Stabs, stabs, stabs)

Zim: Eh, shouldn't they die or something?

Me: Johnny can't die; he was kicked out of Heaven and Hell. And Deadly has some sort of crazy past involving science.

Johnny/Deadly: (Still stabbing each other)

Me: I find it very enjoyable!

Yugi: Well I don't!

Me: Let's bring in the next guest!

(A cat walks upright into the room)

Cat: Ello' mates, lovely day no?

Zim: A British talking cat! NOOOOO!

Gir: Its gonna eat me waffles!

Cat: No, no, I much prefer tuna.

Gir: GET AWAY FROM ME FEET! (Hugs feet) I love my tuna…

Cat: Right-o.

Dib: So, what world are you from? Are you an alien?

Yugi: More importantly, are you sane?

Gaz: Can you spontaneously explode?

Cat: Erm, no I can not explode. I think of myself as sane. And I was brought froth from the world of random!

Me: Kitty was a random thought from one of my reviewers! I shall name him Squiggly!

Squiggly: I like that name very much!

Zim: Zim is a much better name.

Squiggly: But it's an odd numbered name, that's bad!

Zim: BLASPHEMY!

Dib: This coming from a talking cat, it must be true.

Me: DANCE! YOU SHALL DANCE!

Squiggly: (Dances a tap dance jib)

Gir: WHOOOO! FUN! FUN!

Yugi: No of this seems reasonable!

Deadly/Johnny: (STAB, STAB, STAB!)

Yugi: And will you too stop already!

Deadly: (Arm falls off)

Johnny: (Eye is carved out)

Deadly/Johnny: (Still fighting)

Gaz: Oh, just die already!

Me: I know how to fix this! (Presses a button and a curtain drops so we can't see the fight anymore)

Yugi: I suppose that's one way…

Squiggly: (Dance, DANCE) Me mama was a cat! Me papa was a cat! I am a cat! DO THE CAT-CAT-CHA!

Gir: The kitty commands me… (Dances)

Zim: That horrible robot…

Me: ZIM! I AM GOING TO EAT YOU!

Zim: NOOO! Get away from ZIM!

Me: (Chases Zim)

Yugi: I WANT TO GO HOME!

Dib: (Sees a dismembered arm crawl out from behind the curtain and starts to dance with Gir and Squiggly)

Squiggly: The CAT-CAT-CHA! DO THE CAT-CAT-CHA! The song, IT COMMANDS YOU! DO NOT DISOBEY!

Dib: I need a vacation. Fast.

Dismembered Arm: (Starts to break dance)

Johnny: (Runs out from behind the curtain and picks up arm)

Dib: Um…

Johnny: Sorry about that. (Sticks arm back on where it's supposed to be and gets back to the fight.

Yugi: I will never unsee that.

Me: ZIM SMELLS MIKE MINT!

Zim: LIE! YOU LIE!

**Random Announcer Guy: Today's episode is brought to you from Mint Aliens! Edible aliens in a jar! YUM! (Swallows a whole bottle of pills)**


	10. Lets hug Flame Rising! YAY!

**I have great news everyone!**

**I was flamed by the wonderful Flame Rising!**

**He was so nice, telling me to jump off a cliff. (Laughs)**

**Good times, good times…**

**So, just because I love him so much, he will be a special guest in this chapter!**

**Among other special guests that I am sure you will be thrilled to see.**

**Again! Let us all give RF a BIG FAT HUG! **

**He needs our love so much!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Invader Zim, JTHM, Deadly, Any of Bleedman's characters and that new Mary Sue OC.**

Me: YAY! And welcome back!

Yugi: Um, Doma? What is that? (Points at a large duffle bag)

Me: Eh? Oh, that's just equipment I will be using for next chapter.

Zim: What sort of primitive tools will you using? TELL ZIM!

Me: (Opens bag) Lets see… Rope, duck tape, knifes…

Johnny: Knifes? May I have a look?

Me: Of course!

Dib: Not that I am worried, because I am not. But where is Deadly?

Johnny: Right here! (Holds up a jar with Deadly's head in it. Think, Future-rama)

Deadly: You jerk! Give me back my body!

Me: That's pretty wacky…

Johnny: WHAT?!?!

Me: 00; HE SAID IT! (Points at empty air)

Johnny: No one is there.

Me: That's because he isn't here yet.

Yugi: That doesn't make sense.

Me: Screw logic! This is fan-fiction!

Deadly: Hey… Nny is holding me!

Johnny: AH! (Drops jar, but it doesn't break)

Me: And here comes the lovely couple!

(A lady walks in, dragging a man who is all tied up)

Me: Hello, you must me Flame Rising!

Gaz: Great. Another stupid name.

Johnny: Gaz isn't so great either.

Gaz: Shut it you freak.

Johnny: No, YOU shut it!

Gaz: I will blast you into a world of…

Dib: ENOUGH! Gaz, remember what dad said about fighting with psycho killers!

Gaz: (Grumbles)

Flame Rising: What am I doing here?! Let me go you freaks! I will flame you so bad…

Yugi: Ew, why does he smell so bad?

Deadly: I SMELL A JERK!

Flame Rising: I mean it! You all a bunch of $& Tards, and deserve to DIE! Do you hear me? DIE!

Anne: SILENCE SLAVE! (Giggles) We are gonna get married!

Flame Rising: LET ME GO YOU !

Anne: SILENCE! I will hug you, and love you, until your heart EXPLODES with love!

Me: Couldn't you just make him explode?

Anne: I guess… But this is so much more fun!

Flame Rising: I WILL KILL YOU! Damn you all! You are all worthless &&!

Yugi: That guy likes to cure a lot…

Flame Rising: Why do I have to be $&#!$ nice? You are all idiots!

Me: HE IS ANGSTING! LET'S HUG HIM!

Anne: NO! I WANNA HUG HIM!

Me: LETS BOTH HUG HIM!

Flame Rising: NO! I don't want to be hugged!

Me/Anne: (HUGGLES FR)

Flame Rising: NOOOOOO! LET GO OF ME YOU RETARDS! LET GO!

Gir: Why can't we be friends! Why can't we be friends? (Sings off

Key)

Dib: (Picks up a paper) Ewww… It says here FR has writing poop.

Gir: POOP!

Flame Rising: NO! Leave my children out of this!

Me: Gross!

Johnny: Amusing. Writing poop. Sadly, I had seen stranger things.

Everyone: 00;

Me: I also have a new guest! GRIM JR!

Grim JR: Hello everyone! I am the totally awesome…

Flame Rising: Get that & skeleton out of here!

Grim JR: What? Wait, what is this? Don't you know who I am?

Flame Rising: YEAH! An OC! OC's are all the same! Awful, mary-sue-ish, AND DUMB!

Deadly: (Rattles in jar) THAT'S IT! LET ME AT HIM! LET ME AT HIM!

Anne: How is Mary-Sue's bad?

Gaz: Shut up. Just shut up.

Grim JR: I am the son of Grim Reaper! And I will reap you! …That mean you die.

Flame Rising: I know what it means you $$&$ Tard! Go screw yourself! Your mother was a…

Grim JR: (Cuts off FR head off and stomps on it)

Everyone: (Shocked, yet happy)

Grim JR: No one talks about my mom!

Dib: Whoa… The prince of death! This is so cool! Man I wish I had my camera!

Me: Um… Where is Flame Rising?

Grim JR: Well, I don't have the power to send him to hell, so I went to the next best thing…

((**In MARY SUE LOLZ world**))

Flame Rising: Ugh… Where am I?

(A group of pretty Mary sues are braiding each others hair in a field of flowers and everything sickly sweet)

Flame Rising: What? No... NO!

Squiggly: 'Ello mate!

Flame Rising: A TALKING CAT?! That sucks! My poop children can come up with better stuff!

Squiggly: (Ignore him) I am your guide! I don't live here, but the Mary sues have lots of notes!

Flame Rising: Huh?

Squiggly: Bloody Americans… Notes mean money.

Flame Rising: Well, you are an idiot! Go kill yourself!

Squiggly: (Still ignores him) Oh and your mother will b meeting with you shortly. Ta, Ta for now!

FR Mom: SWEETIE! Oh, how nice!

Flame Rising: MOM?!

FR Mom: I am the queen of the Mary Sues! Lolz. Come meet your new father!

Flame Rising: This isn't real! Mom! This is just one big sick joke!

FR Mom: Say hello to Inuyasha Clone #6732!

Inuyasha Clone #6732: Hello son. I hate Kagome. I like my brother more then I should. I love this woman.

Flame Rising: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! NOOOO! NO! I truely am the spawn of the Devil!

FR Mom: I made cookies! 3

**Random Announcer Guy: This episode was brought to you by Jar Heads! Guaranteed to keep your head alive and well for millions of years! Hahaha, just don't ask me how they go to the bathroom.**

…**Now if you excuse me, I have to find foster homes for the poop kids. Gross…**


	11. Dance slaves, DANCE!

**I feel a bit foolish for dedicating the last chapter to FR.**

**But I couldn't resist. Come on, poop that can write? Who wouldn't make fun of that?**

**I am not mad that I got a flame as so much as I got a generic flame. Flames are okay, but a generic one? _Generic_? I like it when things are different and unique. How else am I able to write?**

**I realize not everyone likes my writing, and I am fine with that. Some don't like my format for FanBam; others don't like the random-ness. That's fine. If you don't like it, leave or say WHY you don't like it and leave.**

**But FR's way of flaming seems a bit… off. He has every right to flame, but the way he does it … It makes me sad. Maybe he had a bad past, or his family doesn't have time for him.**

**I write when I am happy, and FR isn't happy at all.**

**If you are going to flame me, do it for the right reasons.**

**Anywho, enjoy the newest chapter!**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing except Myself, a little bit of Squiggly, and you souls!**

Me: AND WELCOME BACK!

Yugi: Did you have to scream? (Covering his ears)

Me: …Yes.

Yugi: (Scoffs)

Dib: I suppose we are going to be tortured by contents of that duffle bag…

Johnny: …I volunteer Deadly.

Deadly: Oh, you joker!

Zim: WICH! The human thing reconnected her head to her body!

Deadly: Huh? Oh yes, I didn't like the jar much.

Dib: …I volunteer Deadly too.

Deadly: Why you! (Lunges at Dib)

Dib: GHAAAA!

Deadly: (Tackles Dib) Now I will…

Yugi: LOOK! Zim is wearing a dress!

Deadly: What?! Where?!

Zim: Zim wears no dress!

Johnny: Looks like a dress to me.

Everyone: (Mutters in agreement)

Zim: SILENCE! I am ZIM! You WILL…

Me: HEY! LOOK! I am _done_!

Everyone: (Looks at me and ignores Zim)

Zim: HEY!

Me: With the stuff in the duffle bag, I made THIS! (Points at a shinny DDR machine)

Dib: But we just turned our backs for two minutes!

Yugi: Never underestimate Doma. Especially when it comes to… DDR mats.

Gaz: Only an idiot would play on that.

Gir: WHOOOOWEEE! (Jumps on the mat)

Gaz: I rest my case.

Me: Gir will need a partner. Grim JR?

Grim JR: I'm game! (Jumps on mat)

DDR: _Let's get ready to ruuummmmble!_

Me: Holy Ra, it talks!

Gir: (Starts dancing) Looky! I am WINNING!

Grim JR: Hey! We still need to pick a song!

Gir: Oh.

Deadly: Choose 'Billy Freak Out'!

Me: No! Choose 'White and Nerdy'!

Dib: Choose the 'Snow White Queen'.

Everyone: ….

Dib: What?

Me: That's so Emo.

Dib: You own the CD!

Me: Yeah, but I am cute that way!

Gaz: Freak.

Grim JR: Um, I think I will go with This Is Halloween.

_Boys and girls of every age  
wouldn't you like to see something strange?_

Dib: Hey! I know this song!

Gaz: Duh. I watch it everyday.

Dib: Oh yeah…

_Come with us and you will see  
This, our town of Halloween_

Grim JR: Oh yeah! I am kicking your tin can!

Gir: Nooo you not!

_This is Halloween; this is Halloween  
Pumpkins scream in the dead of night_

Zim: GIR! Destroy the human skeleton!

Gir: I got ants in me feet!

_This is Halloween, everybody make a scene  
Trick or treat till the neighbors gonna die of fright  
It's our town, everybody scream  
In this town of Halloween_

Yugi: This song is disturbingly good…

Me: (Holds a lighter)

_I am the one hiding under your bed  
Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red_

Me: (Drops lighter) Whoops…

_I am the one hiding under your stairs  
Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair_

Me: AHH! My shoes are on fire!

_This is Halloween, this is Halloween  
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!_

Yugi: Someone get me a bucket of water!

Grim JR: HA! Beat this! (Break dances)

_In this town we call home  
Everyone hail to the pumpkin song_

Gir: You are on fire! (Points at Grim JR)

_In this town, don't we love it now?  
Everybody's waiting for the next surprise_

Grim JR: Thanks!

Dib: No really! Your coat!

_Round that corner, man hiding in the trash can  
something's waiting now to pounce, and how you'll..._

Grim JR: Huh?

_Scream! This is Halloween  
Red 'n' black, slimy green_

Grim JR: GRAHHH!

Me: It's the ghost rider!

_Aren't you scared? _

Well, that's just fine  
Say it once, say it twice  
Take a chance and roll the dice  
Ride with the moon in the dead of night

Yugi: (Cover Grim JR and Doma in foam)

_Everybody scream, everybody scream _

In our town of Halloween!

Grim JR: Thanks! (Continues dancing)

Me: Very competitive, isn't he?

_I am the clown with the tear-away face  
Here in a flash and gone without a trace_

Gir: I dance like a monkey!

_I am the "who" when you call, "Who's there?"  
I am the wind blowing through your hair_

Dib: The song is almost over!

_I am the shadow on the moon at night  
Filling your dreams to the brim with fright _

This is Halloween, this is Halloween  
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!  
Halloween! Halloween!

Tender lumplings everywhere  
Life's no fun without a good scare

That's our job, but we're not mean  
In our town of Halloween

Grim JR: Bonus points!

Me: So many arrows! (Gets dizzy)

_In this town _

Don't we love it now?  
Everyone's waiting for the next surprise

Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back  
And scream like a banshee  
Make you jump out of your skin  
This is Halloween, everybody scream  
Wont' ya please make way for a very special guy

Our man jack is King of the Pumpkin patch  
Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King now

This is Halloween, this is Halloween  
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!

In this town we call home  
Everyone hail to the pumpkin song

La la la la-la  
La la la la-la  
La la la la-la la la-la la  
Whoo!

DDR: SONG IS OVER!

Me: Who won!? Who won! (Foams at mouth)

Yugi: Rabid fan girl!

DDR: GRIM JR IS THE WINNER!

Grim JR: Oh yeah! Gir, you just got served!

Gir: You smell like bananas!

Grim JR: Do not!

Zim: GIR! How dare you lose!

Gir: I don't know…

Squiggly: I am back from the Mary Sue world! LOLZ!

Gaz: Shut it, or else I will fix you.

Squiggly: …

Deadly: Where is Johnny?

(Outside the studio)

Johnny: THAT'S FOR TRYING TO MAKE ME KILL MYSELF! AND THAT FOR HAVING A RETARDED NAME! AND THAT'S FOR…

Phillsdary Dough Boy: Stop! I am just a man in a suit!

**Random Announcer Man: This show has been brought to you by Biker Jack and his Pumpkin Crew! Join the Ghost Rider Gang today!**


	12. God, Ego, And Ginger!

**THIS WILL BE THE BEST CHAPTER!**

**You know why?**

**IT'S THE NEWEST CHAPTER!**

**Then, when I update again, it won't be the best anymore.**

**XP Whatever.**

**Oh, and thanks for all the massive reviews! I am buried in them!**

**Also, I love fan art! I normally draw angst or abstract. My humor sketches come out all retarded. And in the bad way.**

**Sooooooo….. A little love por fabor?**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Invader Zim! If I did, it would have more angst! I LOVE ANGST!**

Me: YES! And welcome back! We have snacks!

Yugi: How is a candy bar named 'Poop Bars' get sold? It's kinda gross.

Dib: I don't know. You numb to the taste after a while.

Me: Oh no! FR's children didn't go to a proper foster home!

Everyone: …

**((We take a small break so the cast may barf their brains out. Enjoy the short!))**

A chubby two headed man walking in to the room and bows. "Hello. We are the Parody Brothers." They say in perfect unison. "Please do enjoy the parody theme song we created for your enjoyment. We own neither Sailor Moon nor Invader Zim."

Plotting evil by moonlight, losing battles by daylight,  
Never running from a real fight, he is the one named Sailor Irk.

He will never comprehend friendship. He is never there to defend.  
He is the last one we should depend on. He is the one named Sailor . . .

Sailor Earth! Sailor Meekrob! Sailor Dirt! Sailor Food Courtia'!

With secret weapons hidden from Dib, He is the one named Sailor Irk.

Plotting evil by moonlight, Losing battles by daylight,  
With his Sailor Scouts to fight with, He is the one named Sailor Irk,  
He is the one named Sailor Irk, He is the one, Sailor Irk!

**((Aaaaannnnnd, the cast is done being sick. Back to the program.))**

Zim: WHAT KIND OF SICK WORLD IS THIS?! (Points at Dib) I blame yoouuu!

Dib: I didn't make you eat it!

Johnny: (Walks in dragging a mangled body) So what I miss.

Yugi: GAH! If you are going to kill people, at least don't drag the bodies about!

Johnny: You know what's your problem? You care too much.

Yugi: Since when that was a problem!?

Me: SILENCE! I have NEWS!

Deadly: Oh, what are you going to ramble about now?

Me: REVEIWS! I have over 70 people! 70!

Gaz: Yeah, so?

Me: THAT'S GOOD!

Deadly: Her ego is inflating…

Me: Bwhahaha! Screw the Golden Calf; I am the false god here!

Dib: (Smacks forehead) I can just see you getting hit with lighting right now.

Me: Well, I didn't say I was God, I said I was a _false_ god.

Johnny: Please, the real thing is just some fat man sitting in a walking chair.

Dib: You are disturbed.

Johnny: Shut up you big head.

Dib: MY HEAD ISNT BIG!

Zim: (Laughs) I never get tired of that!

Yugi: Where is Grim JR?

Me: Oh him? His dad took him back home for some reaping training.

Yugi: Ah.

Me: But I did manage to get a short interview with a new Bleedman character!

Johnny: Who?

Me: Ginger! From the new web comic, Sugar Bits!

Ginger: (Walks in) What do you want? I can't stay long.

Yugi: Nice to meet you too.

Zim: Girl with candy! GIR!

Gir: Gimme ya candy! (Jumps)

Ginger: (Smack Gir like a baseball)

Gir: Weeeeeee! (Hits wall) Let's do that again!

Yugi: Did she just hit him with a gigantic lollipop?

Dib: Yes. Yes she did.

Johnny: Can I have a taste?

Ginger: Are you crazy?! This is a supernatural weapon I use against my enemies!

Johnny: Yeesh, what a brat.

Ginger: Well, I got to go now. My master is setting up a plotline, and I am sorta the main character.

Me: Okay! Bye!

Dib: Why does she get to leave?!

Me: Because she is important.

Johnny: Oh, and I'm not?

Me: Oh? You can leave anytime.

Deadly: And me?

Me: I just send you to Canada.

Deadly: (Growls)

Me: Rabid fan girl!

Zim: Back demon!

Deadly: Stop filling my boyfriend's head with lies!

Me: Oh Canada! Oh sweet Canada!

Dib: You don't even know the words!

Me: Blah, what are the Canadians going to do? Give me Canadian nickels?

Canada: YES!

Me: (Screams)

Dib: Did Canada just speak!?

Zim: Hrmm…. This Canada must be the Earths God…

Dib: No its not you idiot!

Everyone: (Argues)

((Somewhere in Heaven))

God: (Sigh) What have I created?

**Random Announcer Guy: Today's episode is brought to you by the Big Ego Corp! Where either you buy our egos or we kill you with ours!**


	13. FANBAM LIVE and the mighty Simpsons!

**I HAVE A SUPER SPECIAL AWSOME ANNOCEMENT!**

**I THOUGHT, SINCE YOU ALL SEEM TO LOVE THIS STORY SO MUCH, WHY NOT BRING THE ACTION TO YOU?**

**THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS; I CREATED A FORM SO YOU CAN BE A PART OF FANBAM!**

**BUT DON'T FRET, I STILL WILL UPDATE NORMALLY.**

**AND WHEN I SAY NORMALLY, I MEAN WHEN I GET A RANDOM THOUGHT STUCK IN MY HEAD.**

**SO COME TO THE FANBAM TALKSHOW LIVE!**

**Sorry if the capitals annoyed you; my buddy said it will look more 'official'.**

**Oh, and the Simpsons** **are here! This parody is done in the kindest form of flattery I can do!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything except for myself!**

Me: Welcome back!

Yugi: Yes. Welcome.

Dib: (Yawns)

Zim: (Sighs)

Deadly: (Eating a raw fish)

Johnny: (Looks disgusted)

Me: Okay, what is your deal?!

Dib: We're bored!

Zim: Zim demands a challenge!

Me: Well I demand money!

Dib: I demand freedom!

Yugi: I demand to get away from you all!

Everyone: (Argues)

Johnny: ENOUGH!

Everyone: (Stops)

Johnny: Listen you morons; everyone is getting on everyone's nerves! This fighting will never end until we come up with a solution!

Yugi: Preferably one that doesn't end with a funeral.

Me: I think I have an idea!

Deadly: A group therapy session?

Dib: We all go home?

Gir: We make pancakes?

Me: NO! We find a family even MORE dysfunctional then us!

Dib: Oh please! Who could be worse off then us?!

Me: The Simpsons!

Johnny: The who?

Zim: I'll step on you to see the Who!

Dib: Pardon?

Zim: I read it on some smelly shirt. Must be an awful Earth band of noise.

Me: Moving on. EVERYONE SAY HELLO TO HOMER!

Homer: (Walks in) Wow… I am a talk show? Do I get a prize?

Me: No.

Homer: Do'h! Not even a small one?

Me: No.

Homer: Do'h!

Me: And here is the rest of the family!

Marge: Oh my, what a pleasant bunch of people!

Lisa: Mom, that girl is eating a raw fish…

Deadly: (Sucking out the liver)

Marge: Don't stare Lisa. Maybe she is Canadian…

Yugi: Seriously, what do the people have against Canada?

Me: They stole our TV's, ate our food, and cursed us with useless nickels!

Yugi: They did not! And I think you meant pennies…

Dib: You are both right. Canadian nickels and pennies are both scattered across the country.

Bart: Ay carumba! There is an alien in the room!

Homer: Eh, see one and you see them all.

Zim: The fat one lies!

Dib: You mean to say you have seen a real alien!?

Bart: Yeah. Big, ugly, and drools a lot.

Zim: NONE is more powerful then the mighty ZIM!

Lisa: Zim? Who is Zim?

Zim: I AM ZIM!

Lisa: You speak in third person?

Dib: You'll get used to it.

Homer: Ooo, a robot!

Gir: Hello chicken!

Homer: Heheh, ah the advances of the modern world.

Deadly: That's alien technology fat man!

Homer: Ah! Well I never!

Me: She is like that all the time.

Lisa: …Why does it smell like blood in here?

Deadly: BLOOD?! Where?!

Lisa: (Backs away slowly)

Homer: Meh, see one crazy, you've seen them all.

Zim: LIES!

Homer: (Whispering) Marge, the green one is talking to me!

Marge: Well, maybe 'lies' is 'hello' in its language.

Homer: Hrmm… LIAR! Homer says LIES!

Zim: (Freaked out) ZIM doesn't LIE!

Homer: Which means you do! LIE! How LIE are you?

Zim: You stupid human! Zim never lies!

Homer: Aw, Marge! It called me smart!

Marge: How nice!

Zim: (Screams)

Homer: (Mocks Zim and screams as well)

Dib: (Rolling on the floor laughing)

Me: So while those two get along, tell us about yourself Bart and Lisa!

Lisa: Well, my brother is talented at causing trouble while I entertain myself with books and music.

Bart: It's true; I am the master when it comes to trouble.

Deadly: But I bet you never killed anyone!

Bart: No, but Maggie did.

Lisa: Or at least tried.

Maggie: (Sucks on a pacifier)

Me: Interesting…

Deadly: Yes…

Johnny: Hrmm…

Yugi: Oh please, there is no way!

Maggie: (Falls over)

Yugi: I mean, just look at her!

Lisa: Well, it was an accident. Mr. Burns was trying to steal her candy… At least, that's what I think happened.

Bart: I doubt anyone can be 100 sure about what happened that night.

Dib: And you don't even care?

Lisa: The Simpson family isn't into the whole 'caring' thing. (Grumbles) At least the males anyway.

Bart: Whoa, cool! Dad is fighting the green dude!

Zim: YOU DARE INSULT ZIM?!

Homer: Ahh! (Strangles Zim) That…Should…Teach you to be so friendly!

Zim: Grah! (Stabs homer with his spider leg)

Homer: (Dead)

Marge: Hrrmm, that's the third time this month…

Johnny: So you guys just come back to life after being killed?

Bart: Yep, and somehow no one ever questions it.

Deadly: Interesting…

Simpsons: … (Screams and runs)

Deadly/Johnny: (Chases)

Me: Well, that concludes this episode! See you next time!

Yugi: There is another dead man in the room! What is wrong with you people?!

Me: Who knows who cares?

**Random Announcer Man: This show is brought to you by Immortal TV. Where character never die and stay dead, and no one questions why. Except if they are really not important. Then they are just dead.**


	14. Part 1: The final hours!

**This will be part one of the end!**

**Yes, this is sad.**

**But I must focus on my other stories.**

**But if I get enough reviews, I may make a sequel!**

**Stay tuned!**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but myself and Tamie!**

Me: Well, I am out of ideas…

Yugi: (hopeful) So we can go home?

Me: Maybe…

Everyone: WHAT?!

Me: (shrugs) I got nothing! I mean, all I have left is over used plots!

Zim: You don't mean cutting, do you?

Me: (nods)

Dib: I AM NOT EMO!

Nny: No one said you were.

Me: Fanfictions…

Nny: Oh yeah…

Deadly: I wanna kill someone!

Me: Sorry, I'm out of employees.

Studio: (Empty; save for the cast)

Nny: Even the Random Announcer Guy?

Me: Yep!

Yugi: (Leaves room for a second)

Zim: So the fools finally quit!

Me: I wonder what took them so long…

Dib: I can't believe I'm saying this, but does that mean we don't do anything for this episode?

Yugi: Don't tempt her!

Me: Well…

Zim: Oh no…

Me: There is one thing…

Dib: What have I done?!

Me: I can't believe I didn't do this sooner!

Deadly: For the love for death, tell us or I'll kill you!

Me: I have an OC!

Everyone: …

Me: Everyone say to Tamie!

Tamie: (Walks in) Hello people!

Zim: MARY SUE!

Dib: OMG! KILL IT!

Tamie: (Screams)

Me: Wait! She is not a Mary Sue!

Deadly: She looks awfully boring.

Nny: And short.

Tamie: I am not short!

Zim: I still say the pig is a Mary Sue!

Tamie: But my name is Tamie…

Dib: I know! I will ask Tamie a few questions! If she passes, then she is not a Mary Sue.

Dead: And if not, she is my dinner!

Tamie: Don't I have a say in this?

Everyone: NO!

Dib: ONE! Am I in love with you and/or you in love with me?

Tamie: No, Doma just writes me up as a friend.

Dib: Okay, same question, but this time instead of me, is there a romantic connection between you and any other character from my world?

Tamie: …Nooo.

Dib: Do you know more then me or any other character?

Tamie: No, but I do know more about computers. But that's it.

Zim: Are you a pig smelly?

Tamie: A _what_?

Zim: YOU LIE!

Dib: HEY! I am the one asking the questions!

Me: WAIT! This is MY show! I should be asking the questions!

Tamie: Cool! So this is TV show?

Deadly: …I want to kill it!

Tamie: (Backs away from Deadly)

Me: TAMIE! Are you parents' human?

Tamie: What else can they be?

Dib: Irken.

Tamie: That sounds like a burp!

Dib: …She doesn't know about aliens?!

Me: Not at first, but she learns.

Dib: Is she a fighter?

Me: No.

Dib: Can she speak more then on language?

Me: No.

Dib: Drive:

Me: No.

Dib: Have connections?

Me: No.

Dib: Damn, she is useless!

Tamie: HEY!

Yugi: (Walks in the room) Another one?!

Deadly: Where were you?!

Yugi: The rest room!

Me: You missed half the show.

Yugi: (Sigh)

Tamie: Whoa! Look at his hair!

Yugi: I WAS BORN WITH THIS!

Me: Oh well!

Yugi: What is she, a Mary Sue?

Tamie: My name is Tamie.

Dib: She isn't, just a useless OC.

Tamie: I am not useless!

Zim: To be stuck with you idiots, AH! ZIM CAN NOT TAKE THIS!

Me: Well, due to funding, the show may be ending next chapter.

Everyone: (HAPPY! OH SO VERY HAPPY)

Me: So prepare for some major, random, pointless pain!

Everyone: (Slightly scared)

Me: This is going to be nastier then Donald Trumps hair!


	15. Part 2: Or is it?

**(Gasp!)**

**Is this really the end?**

**Read on!**

**And don't kill me…**

**DISCLAIMER: I own only myself and Tamie.**

Me: This is the end, as we know it my friends!

Yugi: You are not going to sing again, are you?

Me: RIVERS OF BLOOD FLOW DOWN MY VEINS!

Zim: For the love of Irk, STOP!

Dib: What song is this?

Me: BLOOD, BLOOD, BLOOD!

Deadly: BLOOD?!

Me: (Screams)

Tamie: I think she just made it up!

Nny: (Sucking on a Suck Monkey)

Deadly: (Tackles)

Me: Roar! I am gonna eat ya!

Deadly/Me: (Fights)

Gaz: You are all idiots.

Gir: Gazzy, I love you!

Gaz: Shut up!

Me: (Jumps on top of Deadly) YAY!

Deadly: GET OFF! I am going to peel your skin off!

Me: Dib! Guess what!

Dib: What?

Me: I killed you father!

Dib: WHAT!?

Me: YAY!

Yugi: No Doma, not yay!

Me: It was in a fanfiction.

Tamie: (Hits Dib)

Dib: OW! What was that for!

Tamie: For being so mean in the RP!

Dib: I didn't do anything!

Tamie: Traitor!

Dib: Ga! Leave me alone!

Zim: (Kicks Dib)

Dib: WHAT THE HECK ZIM!?

Zim: That's for causing ZADR!

Dib: Shut up, I didn't cause that!

Zim: I don't even like you!

Dib: No one asked you to!

Zim: And darn it Dib! The idea of you pregnant SICKINS ME!

Dib: But I'm a guy!

Me: That's not how THEY write you Dib!

Dib: Look at the trench coat! You can't get any manlier then this!

Tamie: Don't forget your boots!

Dib: THANK YOU!

Tamie: …Wait, they look kind of girlish.

Dib: What?!

Nny: Yea man, you should get boots like mine. Well, not exactly like mine. If you copy me, I'll kill you.

Deadly: Me too!

Me: MARY SUE!

Deadly: GET OFF ME!

Me: NEVER!

Deadly: (Screams)

Yugi: How much longer? I want to go home!

Me: We have to sing a song!

Gir: I want a banana!

Gaz: Can we just play a fast song?

Dib: linkin Park!

Everyone: …

Dib: What?!

Me: That's so emo.

Dib: You friggin love that band!

Me: Yeah, but I don't cut.

Dib: I DON'T CUT!

Me: Zim does!

Zim: YOU LIE! Why would anyone do that?!

Me: Because they need love! I want to hug them!

Deadly: I want to drink them!

Me: Me too!

Nny: You are all sick.

Me: DEADLY SAID WACKY!

Nny: WHAT! (Foams at mouth and chases Deadly)

Deadly: I AM GOING TO KILL YOU DOMA!

Me: It's a date!

Tamie: What song should we sing?

Me: A good song!

Zim: A doomed song!

Dib: Maybe an old song?

Gaz: All of you. Just die. Now.

Me: A parody!

Gir: CHEESE!

Me: Parody Brothers! Get out here!

Parody Brother: Hello. (Remember them? They appeared a few chapters ago)

Me: Crank it up you guys! And give us some love!

Dib: Can you dig it?

Gaz: Shut it.

Zim: I was just talking about world domination.

Me: …Not now you weren't.

Zim: YOU LIE!

Parody Brothers: Ahem! The Song were will be mutating today will be "I'm a Barbie Girl"

Everyone: WHAT?!

I'm a Mary Sue

(Ken)Hi Mary!  
Hi Ken!  
(Ken)Do you wanna go for a ride?  
Sure Ken!  
(Ken)Jump In...

I'm a Mary Sue, in a fiction world  
Life as a plastic, it's fantastic!  
You can brush my gorgeous hair, and undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is my creation  
Hey there Mary, I'm not worthy!

I'm a Mary Sue, in my favorite world  
Wearing elastic, life is fantastic!  
you can brush my flowing hair, and undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

I'm in love with a cannon, in my fantasy world  
I'll dress you up, hug you tight, you are my dolly  
You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink,

(Ken)  
kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky...  
You can touch; you can play, if you write me out of character!

(Uu-oooh-u)

I'm a Mary Sue, in a carton world  
Screw the logic, I'm fantastic!  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is my creation

(KEN)  
You god Mary, I'm not worthy!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
You god Mary, I'm not worthy!  
(Uu-oooh-u)  
You god Mary, I'm not worthy!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
You god Mary, I'm not worthy!  
(Uu-oooh-u)

I can walk; I can speak, but save me from the meanies!  
I am a star, You will beg on your knees like a dog  
Come jump in, be in my control, let us do it again,  
hit the town, fool around, let's go party  
You can touch, I don't outweigh, lets go play: "I'll always win"  
You can touch, I don't outweigh, lets go play: "I'll always win"

(Ken)  
You god Mary, I'm not worthy!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
You god Mary, I'm not worthy!  
(Uu-oooh-u)  
You god Mary, I'm not worthy!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
You god Mary, I'm not worthy!  
(Uu-oooh-u)

I'm a Mary Sue, in the unreal world  
Real life sucks, fiction is fantastic!  
You will brush my silky hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is my creation

I'm a Mary Sue, in my own world  
Life as a plastic, and it's fantastic!  
You will brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, your life is my own creation

(Ken)  
You're god Mary, I'm not worthy!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
You're god Mary, I'm not worthy!  
(Uu-oooh-u)  
You're god Mary, I'm not worthy!  
(Ah-ah-ah-yeah)  
You're god Mary, I'm not worthy!  
(Uu-oooh-u)

Oh Mary, I'm having so much fun!  
(Mary)Well Ken, Let's make babies!  
Oh, I love you Mary!

Everyone: …

Me: What.

Dib: The.

Gir: Pickle.

Tamie: Wow…

Zim: …Can we leave now?

Me: No.

Dib: You said this was the last chapter!

Me: I lied!

Every: WHAT! (Runs to kill me)

Me: (Crackles evilly) FOOL YA!


	16. Filler Chapter!

**HEY LOOK!**

**I am UPDATING!**

**Sort of…**

**This is what is happening in the FANBAM TALKSHOW LIVE show.**

**I am a bit lazy…**

**But I hope you enjoy it!**

**And don't worry, next chapter will be REAL.**

**And long… it will be long…**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Invader Zim! And half the story belongs to E. Harper, check her out! She owns Rachel and Excel!**

Me: Okay folks! These are the rules, very simple! No hogging the characters, no ooc-ness, and above all have fun!

Yugi: WHAT?! Why do I have to come?!

Me: We need a sane victim!

(A ghost in a blue dress flies through the wall)

????: Hi, folks!

(Catches sight of Yugi's hair)

????: ... Okay... Um... I knew I should have taken the left turn at Albuquerque.

(Digs into her translucent skirt and pulls out a cloth patch with a familiar insignia on it)

????: Rachel Leavenworth, Ghostbusters West Coast: Spirit Liaison and, err, Janitor. I was actually here in the studio for a guest spot on Mysterious Mysteries... and apparently I phased through the wrong wall. (Aura becomes vaguely red, the ghostly equivalent of blushing) could anyone here point me in the right direction?

Me: NEW PERSON!

Yugi: Doma, I don't think...

Me: Sitsitsitsit!

Dib: It's a ghost! See everyone?! They exist!

Me: Are you from Canada?

(Rachel beams at Dib, then looks quizzically at Doma)

Rachel: Um... no... Canada? What about Canada? Don't know the place, don't know the song. 

(Moves to sit in the seat next to Dib)

Rachel: Whassup?

(Grins as she lowers herself into her seat... accidentally falls through the chair, leaving ectoplasm on it)

Rachel: Aw, hell.

(Lifts back up and try again, this time planting herself firmly in the seat)

Rachel: So what's the score? What are we up to, people? Hey, I'm on TV! HI, JEREMY!

(Waves energetically)

Rachel: You watching this? Dig me, man, I'm on TV! The dead chick made it! She's somebody!!! Record this or something! Is the VCR still broke?

(Turns back to Dib)

Rachel: Amateur Ghostbusters, are we? Here's my card, kid.

(Hands over a small, white business card with singed edges)

Me: So it's settled. You are from Canada!

Yugi: She just said…

Me: SLIENCE! So who is the Jimmy you speak of, is he British?

Dib: (takes card) YES! Proof of ghosts!

Zim: LIES! That's no ghost; it's a dead earth smelly with out the rotting body!

Dib: ...That's basically what a ghost is.

Rachel: The name's Jeremy. No, he lives in California. Or was it New Mexico... borders. Such a human thing!

(Eyes Zim suspiciously)

Rachel: "Earth smelly"...?

(Turns to Dib)

Rachel: Um, quick question. Does your green midget here always talk like that?

Zim: I am not a midget! FOOLS! I will rule you all!

Dib: Yeah, he does.

Zim: RULE you ALL!

Me: So your boyfriend Jimmy lives in New York!

Yugi: That wasn't what she said… ah, forget it.

(Aura blushes again)

Rachel: Umm... I never said he was my boyfriend... I don't do the necrophilia thing. (To Dib) So, my hyper young friend... I'm with a paranormal investigations/eliminations team in Los Angeles. Ever considered taking your life in that direction? I get the creepy feeling you'd fit in just great... particularly with our new guy. Jason Knetge. Bright kid. Bad speller. More hyperactive than a Chihuahua on acid.

(Turns to Zim)

Rachel: Rule us all... how very arrogant and grand. You remind me of my ex-husband. I want specifics. (Aside to Dib, calmly) This is a person who really needs Prozac. (Hitches a thumb at Doma) That one, too.

Me: Prozac? Waz that, a monkey?!

Dib: Tell me something I don't know...

Yugi: Don't worry about Zim. He just yells a lot.

Zim: I DO NOT!

Me: DO TOO!

Zim: I AM ZIM!

Yugi: What the bloody hey is that supposed to mean?!

Zim: SILENCE!

Rachel: (to Zim) So you plan to take over the world via lots and lots of shouting. (Sarcastic) Oh, the brilliance. Considering how horrendously loud you are, I would hardly be surprised if you pulled it off. (To Dib) Anyway, you got my card. Think it over. Ghostbusters International always has room for one more.

(Stretches)

Rachel: Just a question, Yugi. You are startlingly calm in the presence of a ghost. I kinda expected that from these other lunatics, but you I figured might at least blink. What's all THAT about?

Yugi: Well Rachel, before I met these freaks, I had to deal with villains mad with power, falling into monstrous realms, shadow games, all with the help with my friends... also, I kinda had a spirit living inside me for a couple years.

Zim: (cough) crazy (cough)

Yugi: (Glares)

Rachel: That's nothing. Over the past few months I have confronted a horde of the undead, motorcyclists from Hell, ancient spirits carrying out evil curses, Hades the Greek Lord of the Dead, and bureaucrats. And now also a mad talk show host, a guy with hair that could impale a rhinoceros, a very loud green midget and a paranoid boy with a freakishly large head.

Me: ...OMG, MARY SUE!

Yugi: Doma stop that! She is a real person!

Me: Kill it!

Zim: NEVER! I am Zim!

Dib: She wasn't talking to you!

Zim: SILENCE!

(Holds up hands defensively)

Rachel: I never said I confronted them by MYSELF. I had, like, six guys with unlicensed nuclear accelerators backing me up. Well, actually, it was more like I was backing THEM up... OK, OK, so I'm just the janitor. Whatever. I mean, come on. Ghostbusters, hello? That's all in a day's work. Welcome to my life. Err, afterlife. WHAT-THE-HECK-EVER.  
Actually, all that stuff I just said? All things considered, that's actually a pretty tame spell, so far as we're concerned. Back in the 80's, it was like being in a Square Enix game. All you had to do to run into some kind of random supernatural battle was take a few steps in any given direction. Twenty years later, Ghostbusters aren't as ineffably busy as they used to be. Especially when they happens to be the self-appointed cleaning staff. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get slime out of khaki flight suits? There's nothing for it but to go at it with a wire brush and a box of borax. The Attack of the Smelly, Gooey Uniforms, now THAT might be a job that would REALLY showcase my talents.

Me: ...So, do you have ice cream?

Yugi: What does that have to do with ANYTHING!?

Dib: Ghost Busters is a movie…

(Gives Dib a strange look)

Rachel: Yes, yes it is. What's your point? (To self) Doma's insanity must be catching.

Dib: So, how can it be real? (Points) And just how did you die?!

Me: No Dib! You can't handle the truth!

Yugi: You know?

Me: Know what? Where am I?!

Rachel: After the Gozer thing, every meathead in Hollywood wanted movie rights. Is that so surprising? And anyway, I thought Invader Zim was a TV show.  
As for my death... Does the term "Not suitable for young audiences" mean anything to you?

Me: No, I'm made of cheese!

Yugi: (Sighs)

Dib: A TV Show? Don't be silly.

Zim: Yes, Zim is too MIGHTY to be trapped in that horrible box of doom!

Gir: (Sits on his head)

Rachel: Hey, what's that sound?

(Listens)

Rachel: I think it's the fourth wall breaking.

Me: Wall? Oh no! Feed it blood! We need blood!

Dib: Speaking of which, where are Deadly and Nny?

Me: Canada.

Rachel: Don't look at me. No blood to spare. I'm totally blood-less.

(Spots GIR sitting on his head)

Rachel: Hey! Who's that cute kid made of metal?

Gir: I is a monkey!

Zim: It is just Gir. He can kill you by just…

Gir: LOOK AT WHAT I CAN DO!

Zim: By…

GIR: LOOK AT MEEE!

Zim: By just…

GIR: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOK AT MEEEEEEEE!

Zim: WHAT!?

Gir: ...I forgot.

(The ghost breaks into hysterical laughter at Zim's expense)

Rachel: You're a gold mine, kid! Ha ha ha ha!!! Come on tour with me, baby, we'll make a million. Excitement and adventure and really wild things, babe! Hey, hey, can you do the Thriller?

(Gets up and starts to demonstrate the dance to the small, insane robot)

Rachel: Like this... step, step, step... then snap, and the bit with your shoulders, and you go really crazy with your hips... and don't forget to keep your eyes jacked real wide open, like you had about a hundred cups of coffee or something...

Gir: I love babies!

Zim: Gir is a robot, not a baby. Duh.

Me: Nah man, it's the new hipppy hoppy slang! (Dances)

Dib: ...

Yugi: (covers face with hands) Am I the only sane one?!

Rachel: Quite possibly, yeah. DANCE, MONKEY, DANCE!!!

(Possesses Yugi and makes him dance)

Yugi: Ah, what is happening?! -dances stiffly-

Dib: She is possessing you!

Me: Yeah!

Yugi: Make it stop!

Me: Oh what is the worst that can happen?

(Makes Yugi's head turn 360 degrees)

Rachel: Whoa... psychedelic, man. Oh, oh man... (Weaves) I just made myself sick...

(Pukes terrible green slime on the floor)

Dib: THAT! THAT IS THE WORSE THAT CAN HAPPEN!

Yugi: (dead)

Me: (gasps) ACTAVATE GOD MOD SUE SKILLZ!

Yugi: (sudden alive and well and sitting on the chair dizzy)

Me: (ahem) Well, that's enough of that. Everyone sit down.

Janitor: (cleans puke and runs off)

(Gasps)

Rachel: I'm sorry! He wasn't supposed to actually die! He was only supposed to be scarred for life!

Yugi: (screams) Stay away from me!

Me: (eating noodles)

Rachel: ...

Excel Excel: ...

Rachel: OMG! EXCEL EXCEL! RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

(Hides)

Excel Excel: …?

(A strange man in an Afro runs by carrying a huge sign that reads "WATCH EXCEL SAGA")

Me: INHALE! INHALE DARN YOU!

Yugi: Great, more people.

Rachel: If you can call Excel a person... she's more like a sugar high incarnate.

(Excel whips out a blow dryer and brandishes it out at the audience)

Excel: I shall now take this studio in its entirety to distribute widely the ideals and commands of ACROSS! Lord I palazzo, are you watching? Your Excel is doing this for your glory!!!

Rachel: With a glorious hairdryer, you moron!

(Excel looks down at it and sweat drops)

Me: (Shakes Excel) INHALE!

Yugi: Sorry about the host, she is kinda nuts.

Excel: HYAH!

(High-kicks Doma)

Excel: UNHAND ME, ASSASSIN! The scummy television fiends of this dull-minded planet shall be our slaves! And my Lord Ilpalazzo...

(Excel suddenly turns sparkly; Rachel face palms and groans)

Excel: ...shall rule supreme! My loyalty knows no bounds! From the depths of the sea!

(A thousand gallons of water dump on Excel's head, soaking the entire audience in the process)

Excel: To the greatest mountain's heights!

(Mt. Everest randomly springs out of the ground under Excel's feet, destroying the studio, and just as quickly disappears as if nothing happened)

Excel: To the inconceivable borders of the universe!

(Suddenly everyone is floating in space in front of a huge neon sign that says Milky ways. Ineffably, they reappear in the studio unharmed. Excel stops sparkling)

Excel: And thus shall the ideal world be created! YAY!

(She does an ecstatic twirl of fangirliness. Rachel wavers in the corner, looking dazed, with spinning spirals in her eyes)

Dib: Not on my watch alien scum!

Zim: NEVER! You can't take over the world I am about to destroys! I AM ZIM!

Dib/Zim attacks Excel, and bites/kicks/whatever.

Yugi: ...Okay, insanity as usual.

Me: MUHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!

**You can join in on the fun too! See my form!**


	17. Pimps and Ninjas

**YAY! A real update!**

**I don't have a lot of time, so enjoy this.**

**Bye bye!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Yugi of any of the Invader Zim cast!**

Yugi: Doma, can we go home now?

Me: NO!

Dib: PLEASE! You must have run out of ideas by now!

Me: I SAID NO! Besides, we have a guest coming!

Zim: Not another one…

Me: (Glares) Don't show and disrespect, this guy will kill anything and everyone.

Yugi: Then why do you keep inviting these people!?

Me: I owe some favors… (Chuckles nervously)

Everyone: …

(A black mist floats in)

Me: Ah! Everyone say hi to Mr. Alucard!

Alucard: Heh, Heh, Heh…

Dib: VAMPIRE! So cool!

Me: (Freaks out) Quiet! I don't want him to bite me!

Yugi: What is with you?!

Me: …

Zim: PITAFUL HUMAN!

Me: (Screams) Now he knows I have blood!

Alucard: (In human form) What is this I see? Two humans and something else… And this place stinks of blood. Wonderful.

Zim: He looks like a pimp…

Alucard: You piece of trash! Who are you?

Zim: I AM ZIM!

Alucard: …Was that a reason to scream?

Dib: You'll get used to him.

Gir: (Attacks Alucard) PIMP!

Alucard: AH! Infernal rodent of metal! Back to hell with you! (Shoots at Gir)

Me: AIEEE! (Waves Mary Sue Wand and Alucard disappears)

Gir: (Okay)

Me: That's it. No more characters from R rated shows…

Yugi: Hey… You were scared of him!

Me: (Pouts) Shut up!

Zim: HA! Stink bag has a weakness!

Me: SHUT UP!

(Nny and Deadly walks in)

Nny: What we miss?

Yugi: Doma got scared!

Me: No! He is a lair!

Deadly: No way! (Laughs)

Me: (Growls) Bring in the next one!

Yugi: We will never let you live this down, you know that, right?

Me: (Sighs)

Peter Griffin: (Walks on stage, looking clueless)

Me: Get off! I will give the cue!

Peter: (Walks off)

Me: (Ahem.) Please welcome the cast of FAMILY GUY!

Peter/ family: (Stays off stage)

Me: THAT'S THE CUE!

Peter: Oh, oh, sorry. Um, heeeeey everyone…

Lois: Why does it smell like blood in here?

Deadly: Oh, no reason. I just had lunch earlier.

Megan: Cool, you mean like a BBQ?

Deadly: No, I mean people. Raw.

Megan: …Can I go home?

Stewie: Hey! Can we hurry it up; I have a very important meeting to attend to.

Brain: With whom, the Opera Book Club?

Stewie: Yes… I mean no. BLAST!

Brain: Gay.

Me: Such a lovely family.

Nny: And yet…

Deadly: So…

Dib: Familiar…

Zim: They remind me of those Simpsons!

Gir: Rip off! (Screams happily) YAAAAY!

Peter: Oh no, they are on to us! Run!

Brain: Peter, wait, we can talk to them! They seem to be sane, reasonable people of the soil.

Me: (Loads a shotgun)

Deadly: (Pulls out a knife)

Nny: (Chainsaw)

Stewie: What the duce! Are you on crack Dog boy?

Brain: Screw what I said! RUN!

Peter: Great idea! (Runs)

Rest of family: (Runs)

Me: HA! Victory is ours!

Yugi: Odd…

Dib: What is?

Yugi: We just went though two interviews and they both lasted less then a minute.

Me: Blame it on the writers.

Nny: You ARE the writer.

Me: … Who wants popcorn?

Deadly: Me!

Gir: Yay for popcorn!

Dib: I can't believe I'm saying this. But I am getting used to being on this show…

Me: Oh, that reminds me! Dib, have you heard of the pairing Dagr? It's insect, with your sister.

Dib: WHAT?!

Gaz: (Starts to beat him up)

Zim: I am thrilled to see Dib in pain!

Gir: PAIN!

Nny: It's a wonderful thing.

Deadly: (Sighs)

Yugi: Where is the popcorn?

Me: Oh. BRING IN THE NINJAS!

Everyone: Ninjas?

Ninjas: (Jumps in though windows, doors, and such and is throwing popcorn bombs)

Dib: (Gasps for air) Gaz, stop!

Gaz: (Headlock)

Zim: (Scream) The butter BURNS!

Nny: We need salt, LOTS OF IT!

Popcorn: (Fills the room)

Me: And that's the show!

Yugi: You said it was going to be long!

Me: Silence fool, before I make you bald!

Ninja: Bobobobo bo bo bobobo!

Yugi: …What did he say?

Me: Inside joke.

Deadly: NOOOOO! Carmel, my only weakness!

Me: HA!

Zim: Oh, look! It's Alucard!

Me: (screams and hides)

Zim: FOOLED YA!

Gir: That vampire is a pimp!

Nny: I killed a pimp once…

**Ninjas: Eat your popcorn kids! Or die!**


	18. How much could a woodcuck

**Well, an update is an update, no matter how late.**

**And god is this ever late…**

**Expect more soon! FanBam is the original talk show, remember that!**

**And starting next chapter, it will be more open to reviewers.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing that isn't mine!**

Yugi: (fall onto floor wheezing) GREAT GODS! I am alive!

Zim: YES! ZIM is ZIM AGAIN!

Dib: I am covered in cob webs…

Deadly: IT IS YOUR FAULT!

Me: (Wakes up) Gargle marble…

Nny: I had fun.

Me: The room is different… (Looks around)

Nny: I painted it with all the left over blood.

Deadly: Without me… (Pouts)

Me: So sorry…

Tamie: I am never bored. I am not even real!

Dib: But I can see you…

Deadly: I can kill you!

Tamie: Never mind.

Everyone: (Silent)

Me: I HAVE BAD NEWS! They are closing down the show.

Yugi: Really?

Dib: YES!

Zim: I AM ZIIIM!

Deadly: But… who will I kill?

Nny: Yourself!

Deadly: (glares)

Me: …Let me finish. They are shutting it down, and remodeling it. FANBAM will have a whole new look!

Dib: Oh god… Not a sequel!

Zim: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Me: But let's make the most of this chapter.

Everyone: (confused)

Me: I SENT A LETTER TO MY BROTHER'S TEACHER!

Dib: Was it about aliens?

Me: Better. It was about Twinkies, bombs, robotic monkeys and a complaint about stereotyping Yugioh to only boys.

Tamie: You didn't!

Me: Oh, but I did! (No, really, I did)

Yugi: That poor teacher…

Gir: I LOVE ME SOME MONKEYS!

Zim: Tell Zim more of this… remodeling. Will it be in my image?

Yugi: That will turn the children into stone.

Dib: NICE!

Yugi/Dib: (High 5)

Zim: FOOLISH HUMANS! I will rule you all!

Me: You already do in a way. Fan girls…

Zim: SILENCE! I will not hear of these fans of which you speak of!

Me: FINE! The reviews will send in suggestions for the focus of the next FANBAM talk show.

Tamie: Really?

Nny: Can you trust them with such a task?

Me: …No. But I owe it to them.

Deadly: HEY! FREAKISH COMPER PEOPLE! Don't say anything DUMB!

Nny: We get enough of that from Zim.

Zim: ZIM IS ME AND I AM ZIM FOOL!

Me: Yeah… No, I don't think I ever found a 'dumb' reviewer. They all are pretty smart.

Tamie: Flame Raising?

Me: His mother is a Mary Sue, remember? He can't help it.

Yugi: What ab0ut Th3 p30pl3 that 5p3ak 1ik3 th15?

Dib: I didn't understand a word you just said.

Me: Yes… Sorta.

Yugi: (Shrugs)

Deadly: (Twitches)

Nny: (Pulls her away from Yugi)

Me: Well, to the point of the episode. How much could a woodchuck chuck wood if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Zim: (Dizzy)

Tamie: Are you serious?

Me: Very.

Dib: What exactly IS a woodchuck?

Me: I imagine it is a bird of some sort.

Nny: But a bird could never chuck wood, even if it wanted to chuck wood.

Me: But a woodchuck can't chuck wood.

Zim: Wood…chuck…wood… AHHHHH!

Deadly: No! She has a point! How much COULD a woodchuck chuck wood IF a woodchuck COULD chuck would!

Tamie: YES! Could as in can, meaning it cant!

Zim: Cant...Wood… SHUT UP!

Me: So a woodchuck can't chuck wood even if it wanted to chuck wood. But the question would still remain if the woodchuck could chuck wood, would it and how much?

Zim: (pops a aspirin)

Yugi: But the answer could be anything! We can't measure the amount of chucked wood that never been chucked by a woodchuck!

Dib: Yugi has a point.

Me: A point indeed…

Zim: (Moans in mental pain) woodchuckwould…

Me: Okay… But if a woodchuck can't chuck wood, why is it called a woodchuck?

Deadly: The same reason why they call chilidogs "chilly dogs".

Nny: They spelt it differently, that doesn't count.

Tamie: Hold up… (Opens a book)

Gir: AHHHH!

Deadly: FOOL! There is no learning in FanBam, only PAIN!

Nny: What does the book have to say?

Tamie: uh… AH! A woodchuck is…

Zim: (Torches book with a flamethrower)

Tamie: …A pile of ash.

Dib: ZIM!

Zim: There will be no more speaking of this WOODCHUCK!

Me: Yes… Well everyone! Remember to review and expect a new chapter SOON! Oh and how soon it will be.

Dib: You mean an update every few days…

Nny: Rather then every six weeks?

Me: Uh… HEY LOOK! A woodchuck!

Deadly: That's a beaver!

Beaver: (nibbles on a chair)

Nny: Close enough. KILL IT!

Everyone chases the beaver, and ends its life painfully.


	19. SLASH WHAT!

**HAPPY NEW YEARS!**

**It was time I updated this.**

**Remember, have any suggestions, just review me!**

**And remember, eating socks is bad for you!**

**DISCLAIMER: I own none of the original!**

Me: We wish you all a belated Christmas!

Tamie: And a Kwanza, Hanukah, and…

Dib: HOLY SMOKES! (Points at the evergreen in the room) Where did that come from?

Nny: Chopping down trees is just wrong.

Yugi: Opposed to killing people?

Nny: Shut it short boy.

Yugi: I am not that short!

Zim: You are a CHILD! CURSE YOU ALLLLLLLL! Santa must be KILLED!

Deadly: Feh, there is no such thing.

Everyone: (GASP)

Dib: Um, duh.

Zim: Unless you count the killer Santa in space…

Nny: Santa did exist. He was a saint who gave toys to good children. Idiots just exaggerated the story to the point of mutated reindeer and elves with no work benefits.

Me: Sure, if you want to be smart about it.

Dib: I couldn't care less about the fat man. Unless he can take me home…

Tamie: Back to being ignored, and forced into an irreversible depression that ultimately leads to a dramatic suicide?

Dib: Uh… What was that?

Me: Oh Dib, its no secret that you are an emo!

Zim: DIB! You were a filthy bird, the entire time! EVIL!

Dib: EMO, not emu you idiot! And no, I am not.

Zim: LIES!

Dib: (Death Glare) Woodchuck.

Zim: (Screams and writhes on the floor)

Me: Well that was amusing.

Deadly: Do you ever NOT find something amusing.

Me: Lets find out. (Hits her in the face with a Tuna fish)

Deadly: GAH! Why did you DO THAT?

Me: The Salmon wasn't fresh.

Everyone: (Awkward silence)

Nny: I should kill you for using that horrible joke.

Me: But not now… I HAVE STUFF TO ANSWER!

Gir: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! (Carries in a sack)

Me: (Takes sack) To the lovely reviewers… Unless they are butt ugly. Then, not so lovely.

Zim: Mean much?

Me: AHEM! (Reads papers)

Deadly: Well?

Me: Hold on… They keep talking about how they nearly died of laughter.

Dib: (Turns to the camera) You sicko fangirls…

Me: BE NICE! Or else they will draw more Zadr.

Dib: (Try's not to puke)

Me: Oh! Did you guys know that people pair up Gaz and Zim?

Dib: WHAT! NO!

Zim: Pair me with a FEMALE! THE INSANITY!

Gaz: GROSS! That…That… AGHHHH! (Raises bat) Where are they!? I will kill them! Then revive them. Then make them watch sitcom reruns until they kill themselves!

Me: Dark…

Nny: I should try that!

Deadly: Me too!

(High five's)

Me: OOC!

Tamie: (Reads one) Harry Potter?

Me: (Steals paper back) I am saving that for next time.

Dib: Not my sister!

Me: HEY! Better her then… YO MAMA!

Everyone: …

Me: What? It's only a matter of time. Lord know they already pair Zim up with your father…

Dib/Zim: WHAT?!

Me: And it was a M rating too.

Dib/Zim: (Lets out a horrible scream)

**0o0**

Membrane: (looks up) Eh?

**0o0**

Me: While I give these boys traumatic images, please review.

Tamie: And remember, Pot is for people who love taking down stuff.

Me: Hahahaha. So true…


	20. You and you and YOOOOOUUUU!

**Yaaaaaay!**

**I am making fun of movies now.**

**We all know there is movies that are great, and really bad.**

**Someone asked for a Harry Potter moment…**

**I don't remember who…**

**BUT YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!**

**(Gun&wink)**

**DISCLAIMER: I own none of the original!**

Me: And we are back!

Deadly: Yippi…

Deadly: I can leave whenever I want though.

Yugi: How nice for you. (Glares)

Dib: (shudders) Just the idea of you and my Dad Zim…

Zim: HORRIBLE FILTH! Soooooooo GROSS!

Me: One of the reviewers says that the story didn't have enough….Uh, how to word this… Adult situations.

Dib: AGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!! (Huddles in a corner and shakes)

Zim: What? Zim doesn't understand.

Me: Well, I am not telling him. Lets move on.

Zim: TELL ME! ZIM COMMANDS YOU!

Me: We have a new guest!

(Hole opens up in the ceiling)

Harry: AHHHHHHH! (Falls on sofa)

Me: Hello Potter!

Harry: What? Where am I? Who are you people?

Me: I am the mighty Doma Yuset!

Nny: Call me Nny!

Deadly: The traumatized boy over there is Dib, and the alien is Zim. I am Deadly.

Harry: Oh. That's frightening. But what's your name?

Deadly: THAT IS MY NAME! Why is that so hard for people to get?

Gaz: Because, your name is dumb!

Deadly: Why you…!

Me: Anyway, Harry? Why are you so emo?

Harry: What? What are you talking about?

Me: Well, you seemed so calm and collecting in the first movie. Now you are angsty and confused! The fans already have one cute guy like that, and his name is Zuko.

Harry: WHO? And that is a bit personal!

Yugi: Uh, Doma? That personality trait is in at least one character in every show.

Me: Yeah, but he is a Movie Star!

Harry: A WHAT? Look, I don't get what is going on here! Take me back, I need to kill Volda…

Me: (snaps fingers)

Harry: (Gone)

Yugi: What did you do to him?

Me: Sent him home.

Dib: Who was he?

Me: A wizard.

Dib: AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME? Argh! I could of taken photos!

Zim: With what? Your big head?

Dib: My head isn't big!

Me: It is a bit above normal.

Dib: What do ANY of you know about normal? YOU TWO kill people as if it were nothing! (Nny and Deadly) YOU are an alien bent on destroying Earth, with a HUGE ego! (Zim) YOUR hair scares me!

Yugi: Hey!

Dib: AND YOOOOOUUUUUU!

Me: Me?

Dib: I can't even think of a place to start with YOU!

Tamie: And me?

Dib: I am working on it.

Me: Yay! I am the least annoying!

Deadly: Besides the fact you are borderline Mary Sue.

Tamie: Oh yeah. (Emo)

Me: Well, more stuff from fans. Anyone seen the Golden Compass?

Gaz: No. As if I'd see a movie about a bunch of cute animals. (shudders')

Deadly: I want to see it!

Me: Yeah well, DON'T!

Everyone: Huh?

Yugi: I heard it was a good movie!

Me: It SUCKS. The ending was rotten, and they crammed too much or too little in each scene. It might have been better if they made it longer with better dialog. Everyone is better off reading the book.

Dib: Then why did you see it?

Me: To make a political statement.

Dib: By watching a bad movie?

Me: A movie a church is boycotting.

Nny: Yeah… You suck at protesting.

Me: (emo)

Tamie: And that's all for today folks!

Me: Yeah. And remember if you protest for a movie; make sure it is a good one.

Tamie: And you got sick off the popcorn!

Me: Shut up!


	21. Mary Sue, I love you!

_**Dear readers,**_

_**I am sorry to report that Doma Yuset was killed, as a man wearing a skirt yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA", pushed her down a well**_

_**I, her very best friend in the whole world had taken over her Fan Fiction account in memory of her. In doing so, I decided it was best to turn this unbearably random and idiotic 'story' into something more interesting.**_

_**As I am writing this, you should know that Doma would be proud of the way I am about to keep her work alive. (And improving it tenfold!)**_

_**So that is the note for today.**_

_**Oh, almost forgot my name! How rude of myself.**_

_**I am Mary Sue.**_

The sun shone upon the glitteringsilky azure hair, lightly highlighted with pink. The young lady came into the classroom, stunning everyone with her beauty. The teacher herself was unable to speak, unable to believe her eyes!

"My name is Lucy Eara Sirvat. It is such a pleasure to meet you all." Her voice rang gently in the air, almost as if she were singing. Her deep emerald eyes flickered towards Dib lovingly, falling in love at the second she did. And he did in return. But Zim stared at Lucy, brimming with jealousy.

How the threesome came together at that moment and place was surely an act of fate! Because Lucy held a deep dark secret, as she was half Irken, half human and half of something else that was so mysterious. In her path lies a road of…

**WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!**

_**Oh, Doma! Thank god you are…**_

**HOW **_**DARE**_** YOU WRITE ON **_**MY**_** ACCOUNT! GO TO HELL!**

_**But I was only improving your work!**_

**HOW? BY WRITING ABOUT SOME DITZ WHO IS SO PERFECT THAT BOTH DIB AND ZIM FALL IN LOVE WITH HER? DEAR RA… THAT'S IT! YOU ARE GOING TO **_**DIE!**_

_**No, please have mercy! I have a son!**_

_**I KNOW. BUT HE DIED DUE TO YOUR 'TRAGIC PAST' …AND ME SHOVING HIM OFF A BUILDING MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT…**_

_**Monster!**_

_**(starts chainsaw)**_

((The fight was too gruesome to post. Please wait, your review is important to us.))

(……)

((The fight is over, back to your scheduled fan fiction.))

**Well, sorry about that folks.**

**It will never happen again.**

**(kicks a body part)**

**Heh… I made sure of that.**

Dib: …What the hell! The entire chapter is an authors' note!

Nny: _Someone_ is getting a little lazy.

Zim: Horrible human of filth and corn!

Dib: Seriously, what is the problem with corn Zim?

Gir: I LOVE CORN!

Zim: I had a bad experience…

Me: Hurray for terrible chapters!


	22. Nny Takes Over

Okay, a lot of junk going around

**Okay, a lot of junk going around. (Still)**

**But a fun chapter of FANBAM never killed anyone!**

**(Dies)**

**DISCLAIMER: I own none of the original.**

Zim: Boxers!

Dib: Briefs!

Zim: BOXERS!

Dib: BRIEFS!

Gaz: SHUT UP!

Me: Holy cow! I am watching Kim Possible, and her dad writes fanfiction!

Nny: You were WATCHING TV?

Me: About fanfiction!

Nny: (Goes into a psychotic rage and ropes Doma in her chair)

Deadly: Why didn't you kill her?

Nny: Well, she has to be alive in order for the show to go on. And I thought, since I am not a prisoner…

Gir: YOU GOING TO MAKE ME A CAKE!

Nny: I'm going to take over the show!

Gir: …Then make taco cakes?

Nny: Why is this thing talking to me? Is it real or is it another one of the Voices?

Zim: Gir! Do not talk to the homicidal killer.

Gir: Okay. (Gir runs around screaming)

Me: I love my kitty!

Dib: You don't have a kitty!

Me: (Screams and wobbles in chair)

Zim: She is a lot creepy then I thought.

Tamie: This should fix it. (Pushes Doma in to closet)

Everyone: …

Dib: Now what?

Zim: You all can bow down to the power of ZIM now!

Nny: NO! I am the host, and I make the choices.

Deadly: Okay smart guy, what is on your rotten mind.

Nny: First I will say, 'I never liked you'.

Deadly: Oh yeah? You dumb walking stick, you were bad at killing people anyways!

Nny: That's it! (Waves stolen wand) Fluffy curse of Happy Pony!

Deadly: (Turns into a Pony)

Nny: Now, if you don't want me you into glue…

Deadly: (Kicks over a chair)

Nny: (Pulls a lever)

Deadly: (Falls into a underground dungeon)

Me: Look everyone! I see the Spaghetti Monster!

Gaz: Why didn't you gag her?

Deadly: OH GOD! They are feeding me Sun Chips! (Screams of horror)

Nny: I honestly forgot. (Closes up hole in floor)

Dib: Wait, I like Sun Chips!

Nny: No one cares!

Tamie: God cares!

Nny: He is a fat man in space. Trust me, I've seen him.

Gaz: Wait, Tamie reads the bible?

Zim: She READS?

Me: IT WAS A LAST MINUTE CHARACTER DEVOLPMENT!

Zim: The whole idea of shoving you in a closet, human, is so we can ignore you!

Dib: Zim has a point…

Me: WHAT? I can't hear you. there is a door in the way!

Nny: Um… right. So let us look at some fan stuff now. There are a couple of new stories out, and honestly, they all suck.

Tamie: Not to GOD!

Gaz: SHUT UP!

Me: I _SAID _IT WAS LAST MINUTE!

Nny: Right. But they don't all suck really. The Messiah Complex isn't bad. In fact, it is very good.

Tamie: It sounds Jewish!

Gaz: This isn't about religion you idiot!

Dib: Yeah… Let's not start a fight.

Zim: You humans… Stuuuupied humans and imaginary fat men in space do not mix well at all!

Nny: SHUT UP! Okay… Ah! Things We've Taken For Granted updated! StarDustSage wrote it. Yeah the characters are extremely out of character… Yeah, it is another one of those fluffy ZADR stories… Yeah, Dib is not even in the story for good ten or so chapters… Yeah, you have to deal with an overly sensitive Zim and a couple of his girlfriends…

Gaz: GET TO THE POINT!

Nny: It is a pretty damn good story. It is very well written and the plot is original. And there is some pretty good stuff in there, like short novel level or something.

Me: I loved the first chapter!

Nny: Huh? (Looks at his notes) Oh, and a bloody car crash in the start. So that's why you were reading it.

Me: (Giggles)

Nny: Whatever… (Throws a knife at the door)

Zim: Can't we talk about something a little less GROSS?

Dib: Yeah!

Nny: Mekrelmar updated as well, written by the lovely HeCallsMeHisChild. Now we are talking! Space battles and angst and lots of awesome dialog! And this is the sequel, something DOMA should be working on.

Me: Can't talk, you killed me!

Nny: I did not. The door saved you.

Me: I had a heart attack.

Dib: I much rather have her forget about the whole thing. She brought in my mother!

Tamie: She is with God now.

Dib: She isn't dead!

Tamie: In the kingdom of heaven!

Gaz: Excuse me. I have to do _God's_ work now. (Drags Tamie out the room)

(A short while later)

Gaz: (Re-enters the room) Hey guys.

Dib: You are covered with blood…

Gaz: (Smirks)

Dib: (Points at Nny) YOU ARE A BAD ROLE MODEL!

Nny: So that's the end of the show!

Dib: You killed off one of the cast members!

Gir: (Currently playing with Tamie's liver) YAAAAY!

Gaz: Look at the bright side, she became a organ donor!


	23. Pigtails

**WOW!**

**My laptop broke so, updates will be rare.**

**Royal Pain will be focused on.**

**Enjoy!**

**DISLAIMER: I own none of the original! **

Me: Okay guys, let's try something different!

Dib: Different? How?

Nny: You already killed off one of the cast members…

Deadly: Look who's talking!

Nny: WHAT?

Me: ZIM! Pay attention!

Zim: Eh?

Gaz: Is that my Game Slave? If it is, I'll KILL you!

Zim: NO! This is but a mere Xbox!

Dib: Gaz, how did you mistake an Xbox for a Game Slave…?

Gaz: (Beats up Dib)

Dib: (screams)

Me: Xbox is nice, but it's not what I… HOLY! Is that the Happy Tree Friends game?

Zim: Sure is! You can buy it at the website, and enjoy the gory cuteness for yourself!

Me: Oh boy, that sounds neat!

Everyone: (Goofy smiles at the camera)

Nny: Did… Did you just advertize something?

Me: Not I, but we. And for free!

Zim: I got paid a hundred monies!

Dib: You got WHAT?

Me: Uh… yeah. Moving on… Like I said, I want to try something.

Yugi: GAH! Like letting me SPEAK?

Me: HUSH! LOOK OVER THERE!

Yugi: It's a big robotic thing!

Me: I said hush! I type in a question here… and the result displays on the screen In MOVIE MODE!

Yugi: That is amazing!

Me: Why are you talking so much?

Yugi: You NEVER give me any dialog!

Me: Stop breaking the forth wall!

Nny: So, if I were to ask, 'If I had invested that paycheck you gave me…?'

Dib: You get PAID?

Yugi: He wasn't forced to be here, remember?

Deadly: Neither was I!

Nny: No one cares!

Me: Zim! You can ask the first question.

Zim: I AM ZIM! (Runs to keyboard and starts typing)

Dib: What are you asking, you ball of scum?

Zim: I, the mighty ZIM, asked 'What if the Dib-Monster was a female?'

Dib: What the hell Zim?!

Me: SHH! The Movie Mode is activating!

_Three_

_Two_

_One_

__

_**BEEP**_

"**Ha! I, the amazing Zim shall defeat you!" screamed the Irken Invader. "What do you think of THAT **_**DIB**_**?"**

"**I think you owe me a new cell phone!" screamed the frantic teen. "Pay up you alien scum!"**

**Zim sneered. "I don't think so, **_**little girl."**_

**Dib's left eye twitched. "**_**What**_** did you call me?"**

**Zim mouthed out the words carefully. "L-i-t-t…"**

**Dib grabbed a rock, and dramatically jumped into the air…**

Me: I'm just going to skip this part. (Presses a few buttons)

Dib: I'm a guy! This is so wrong; I can't fight as a girl! Emotions will cloud my brain!

Me: I'll kill you later for the comment. (Presses 'play')

**Dib is standing in front of the Swollen Eyeball Network HQ, with a microphone in hand. A News Lady leans down. "So young lady, how does it feel to have proven life exists on other planets?"**

"**Not as good as getting a date to the school dance!" Dib chirped back. "That Zim guy was so icky, I'm glad his organs are up for display now."**

"**How adorable! Back to you Steve!"**

Everyone: (Stunned silence)

Dib: I…I…I captured Zim?

Zim: So the male humans are inferior!

Nny: Well, this explains why God is a guy and the Devil is a girl... Or at least, he dresses like a girl.

Me: AWSOME!

Gaz: To think, I could have had HER as a sibling…

Dib: No! This is wrong! This is so- STOP LOOKING AT ME!

Yugi: You had… pigtails…

Everyone: … (Insanely demonic laughter)

Dib: (Scarred for life)

Me: Anyway, I'll start rating more fan fiction next chapter. And more questions will be asked!

**END NOTE: Need suggestions for guests!**


	24. New News of NEWYNESS

**In a One, Two, One Two Three Four!**

FANBAM CONTINUES!

Disclaimer: I own none of the original!

Nny: Alright, now it is time for…

Dib: The cancellation of this horrid fanfiction?

Zim: A short, disappointing update?

Gaz: The end of the world?

Yugi: An incredible cheesy plot twist?

Gir: MORE CROSSDRESSING?

Dib: Shut up you tin can!

Zim: No, YOU SHUT YOUR BIG HEAD!

Dib: MY HEAD IS NOT BIG!

Nny: You all shut up! You are all wrong. Idiots.

Yugi: Then what?

Nny: It is a news update. You see, Doma…

Everyone: (hopeful) DIED?

Nny: NO. Stop that! Doma is going to collage.

Everyone: …

Nny: You know… collage? Where you learn stuff to get a better job?

Dib: Uh… Oh! I get it!

Yugi: Yes! Good one Nny!

Nny: …?

Yugi: There is no way Doma could be smart enough for COLLAGE.

Gaz: The girl is defiantly missing a brain.

Zim: The human attempted to DRIVE, and CRASHED!

Nny: She already has her permit you know.

Everyone: …

Nny: She is going to get her license in a few days. Street legal? You guys do understand the words coming out of my mouth, yes?

Everyone: _(Suddenly bursts into laughter)_

Nny: I AM NOT JOKING!

Yugi: Doma, a _responsible adult? _I DON'T THINK SO!

Dib: HA! That was the funniest thing I heard all day!

Nny: I give up. _(Stands up)_

_(Suddenly, Doma walks onto the set)_

Doma: Wow, the traffic here was _awful_! I just forgot my campus ID here, can't buy my textbooks without it! Well guys, the show will continue, so prepare yourselves. Say Nny; want me to drop you off your house?

Nny: Yeah, my car kind of crashed into some people. See you guys later!

_(Doma and Nny exit)_

Everyone: _(Stunned and frozen in shock)_

Dib: Oh…

Yugi: My…

Zim: I AM ZIM!

**More to come guys, I'm back!**


	25. HTF Flips YOU Face Down

**Um, WOW.**

**Long chapter…**

**It might all be just filler…**

**Oh yeah. Happy Tree Friends make an appearance.**

**Like you could resist that.**

**Ha.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own none of the original.**

Doma: Hello computer nerds, will you read this virtual text?

Dib: My god, is this an update?

Zim: I NO LONGER REQUIRE MUFFINS TO SMELL CORN!

Gir: LOL! _LOL!_

Yugi: Business as usual then?

Zim: You! Strange anime human!

Yugi: Yeah?

Zim: You _lie;_ you are filled with horrid _lies._

Yugi: …

Doma: Moving on… Let's look at that **What If** machine again!

Yugi: Again?

Zim: SILENCE, YOU ARE NOT TO SPEAK!

Yugi: Um… I'm going to regret this, but why are you mad at me?

Dib: Zim is offended of how your show portrays aliens. Whoopi.

Yugi: But I never…

Zim: I AM NOT A TREE! YOU ARE THE TREE! YOU TREE HUMAN!

Doma: Oh. Aliens. Cards. Card games.

Zim: I AM OVER 9000!

Doma: Looks like Zim didn't like the alien based Yugioh cards. Or how weak they are.

Zim: I require sacrifices! SO MANY OF THOSE!

Yugi: He is scaring me a little.

Dib: I don't get the game, but wow.

Zim: (points at Yugi) I'll put YOU face down, FOREVER!

Yugi: But…

Zim: FOREVER TILL I FLIP YOU… OFF.

Doma: …Moving _on. _The machine. Let us get to it.

Dib: Before Zim has a heart attack.

Zim: SO MUCH FLIPPING!

Yugi: (Backing away)

**THE MACHINE OF WHAT IF, if you remember, it allows you to ask a question. And it gives you the answer. Please read back a few chapters.**

Doma: Alright. So what question should we ask?

Dib: MY TURN! What happens if I…

Zim: IF I BEAT YUGI IN A CARD GAME?

Yugi: What is _wrong_ with you?

**What if Zim beats Yugi in a card game?**

…

**The answer: **_Zim slams a powerful monster and laughs. "You're finished!"_

_Yugi screams, as the monster finishes off his remaining life points._

"_How could I lose? I had the power of friendship! Why?"_

_Zim sneered. "Easy. I AM MADE OF AWSOME!"_

Yugi: That makes no sense!

Zim: HUSH YOUR HAIR!

_Zim grows in fame and soon gained many friends. He even became a close friend of Yugi._

Zim: …Um?

_The friendship in him grew to the point where he dedicated himself to save mankind. He found a cure for illness, hunger, and solved the energy crisis._

_What a great guy!_

Zim: WHAT?

Dib: I am a little disturbed…

Yugi: Well, you can't be the king of games without friends. It is just physically impossible.

Doma: I agree.

Zim: ZIM NEEDS NO ONE!

Yugi: So you'll drop the whole card thing?

Zim: Yes. I'll just beat you in… (Pulls out a manga and flips through it)

Yugi: …

Zim: A-HA! Dice! I'll beat you at DICE!

_Zim throws down the dice in a dramatic fashion. Yugi stares at them in disappointment when they fell onto a winning combination._

"_Aw, I lost."_

"_YES AND I…"_

"_Good game!"_

"…_What?"_

_Yugi picks up his bag and smiles. "I never really liked that game, but that was fun. Catch you later."_

"_WHAT?"_

Zim: WHAT?

Yugi: No one cares about that game. No one. It's boring and lame.

Doma: I AGREE.

Yugi: We should play sometime though. It could be…

Zim: NO! I WISH TO CRUSH YOU. I do NOT want to be FRIENDS.

Dib: Okay, my turn…

(The machine explodes)

Dib: What? OH, WHY?

Doma: God hates you. Let's move on.

Yugi: Please.

Doma: I have a new guest! The cast of the HAPPY TREE FRIENDS!

Zim: YOU ARE THE TREE!

Yugi: This has nothing to do with cards…

(Cast of HTF walk onto set)

Me: Aw, they are so cute.

Flakey: Heheheheee (nervous)

Me: Aw, a porcupine! A relative of yours Yugi?

Yugi: Very funny. Ha, freaking, ha.

Everyone: …

Dib: They don't do much.

Me: Just wait for it.

(Nny walks onto the set)

Nny: Okay, what the h- OH MY GOD! The animals, so many filthy vermin of hell! I shall not be swayed to your cute and fluffy dark side! (Picks up a chainsaw)

Yugi: Oh god!

Nny: DIE DEMONS OF HELL!

**BEEEP! This scene is censored. Too graphic.**

**Enjoy the short story!**

Danny likes pizza. Yes, he loves pizza. He ADORES PIZZA. He liked it so much; he sold his organs so he could buy more of it. But he sold his stomach. And he died a painful slow death. He was cremated and his ashes became a new exotic pizza topping.

**Massacre over, back to the story!**

Yugi: (huddled in a corner) Find your happy place; find your happy place…

Gir: WHAT THIS DO? (Squishes a eyeball) WHAT THESE DO? (Squishes two livers) Ewwww… WHAT THESE DO?

Zim: Why is the Dib acting so… odd?

Dib: (Frozen in shock) Ohgodohgodnoohnothescreamsthebloodnotheyaretoocutenothescreamedth

ebonesaresnappingwhy…

Doma: Nice work Nny.

Nny: I feel much better. Not sure why I snapped like that…

Doma: TILL NEXT TIME!


	26. A Snotty Death

Another update, another dollar!

…

Well, what are you waiting for? Pay up!

DISCLAMER: I own none of which that isn't mines!

Me: Guess what I did!

Dib: (Glares)

Zim: (Glares)

Me: …Um. I guess you two already know.

Dib: HOW can you kill me again? AGAIN? IN POETRY?

Me: I'm sure Deadly liked it!

Deadly: (Glares)

Me: WHAT?

Deadly: (Throws poem unto the floor) It didn't make sense. I DIDN'T ENJOY IT!

Me: (Face-palms)

Yugi: Wait… When did Deadly come back?

Zim: The smelly humans are correct. Your poems are most unenjoyable!

Me: …

Yugi: Am I being ignored? Again?

Me: …

Yugi: Doma, are you…

Me: TISSUE DEMONS ATTACK!

Yugi: GAH! (Dives for cover)

Tissue Demons: RRRAaaaaaWWWW! (Jumps on everyone's faces)

Zim: BURNING! SO MUCH BURNING!

Dib: Ewwwww, why is it so slimy? Get it off! Get it OFF!

Deadly: (Dead)

Yugi: YOU KILLED HER?

Doma: I didn't think that was possible.

Nny: (walks onto the stage) …

Doma: …

Everyone: (Being mauled by snotty tissues)

Nny: …

Yugi: THE SNOT IS TOO MUCH!

Nny: … Yeah. I'm going out. (Leaves)

Deadly: (Still dead)

Me: Let us dispose of the body!

Yugi: I want to go home!

Me: (approaches body)

Demons: (Lungs at body and covers it)

Me: Oh my God!

Yugi: MADDNESS!

Dib: Ew, ew, ewwwww! (Desperately trying to rub the slime off himself)

Zim: (Cleaning himself with chalk) Stupid human…

Deadly: (Dead and under a large pile of snotty tissues)

Me: They stole my dead body!

Yugi: THIS IS MADDNESS!

Me: NO! This is a huge mess!

Yugi: …

Me: I mean it! It will take weeks to clean this up!

Dib: I thought Deadly was some kind of freakish experiment and she can't die?

Me: She is. So she must not really be dead!

Yugi: Oh God, what if she is mutating into some kind of snot monster?

Me: Ew. Don't be gross.

Yugi: I mean it!

Demons: (Bursts into flames)

Yugi: THE DEMON LIVES!

Zim: PINAPPLES OF DEATH!

Dib: This is… (Stares at Zim oddly, but recovers) This is really weird!

Me: Luckily, the tissues burn quickly.

Demons: (Ashes)

Me: Let us look at the remains!

Deadly: (Nothing more than a pile of glitter)

Everyone: …

Me: Oh yeah… She was a Mary Sue.

Dib: That is why she was so evil!

Zim: And smelly!

Yugi: Doma, you knew that from the start.

Me: Yeah. So I forget, so what?

Dib: At least we can relax now that she is…

Deadly: (Appears right next to him)

Dib: HOLY! (Falls)

Deadly: Death is fun!

Dib: B-But you DIED!

Deadly: I got better!

Yugi: Yup, that is a Mary Sue if I ever saw one.

Zim: PINAPPLES! UNHOLY PINAPPLES!

Dib: …Okay?


	27. The Cheesy Reveiw

**Update!**

**Get your updates riiiiigggghhhhttt here!**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing!**

Me: Look at what fanfiction readers are reduced to!

Yugi: What?

Me: Idiots! All of them!

Dib: Idiots? Well, it is fanfiction…

Me: (Twirls around and point at Dib) Back in my day, people knew how to WRITE!

Yugi: Back in your day? How long…

Me: Since my freshman year of middle school.

Nny: (Counts the years on his fingers) Wow. You sure are wasteful with life.

Me: …Shut up.

Zim: (Runs into the room, screaming)

Me: Eh?

Zim: T-THE R-ROOM! AH! (Points at Doma) YOU! HUMAN! AH!

Me: …Eh?

Dib: Zim is acting crazy again. Again.

Gir: (Runs after Zim) TOUCH DOWN! (Jumps on Zim) YYEEEEEAAAAAHEEEEEE!

Me: …Eh?

Dib: Stop saying that!

Nny: I think they came from your office…

Me: …Oh! Oh. Ooooh. (Bites lip)

Yugi: Oh God… what is in that room?

Me: Not much. Just some… Eyesheild 21 fanart.

Everyone: Eh?

Me: It is a manga, about football. They play football in the manga. That's all.

Zim: (Rolls on the ground, seemingly in pain) Stupid smelly, AGHHH! BURNS! BURNS! I'll destroy you all!

Yugi: (Looks at Doma) That's all, huh?

Me: …Well, I may have gotten into the fandom too.

Yugi: …

Me: …I like crack pairings.

Nny: That's all? It can't be that bad. (Walks to office)

Me: NO! WAIT!

Nny: (In the office) OH GOD, WHY?

Me: …

Yugi: What the hell is wrong with you?

Me: I like crack pairings.

Nny: (Bursts from the office, with gun in hand)

Zim: (Passed out)

Me: AH! (Tries to hid behind Yugi)

Yugi: (In the line of fire) AHH!

Nny: Pointy hair demons and freakish arm guy should NOT be held hand in hand!

Dib: (Completely lost) What does that have to do with Football?

Me: Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Zim: THE SPARKLE!

Nny: (shoots gun at me) DIE DEMON!

Me: (Doges barley)

Dib: What is IN there?!

Me: THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE PLOT! (Runs around the room screaming)

Yugi: WHAT PLOT? (Hides under chair)

Nny: (Explodes into bits of cheese)

Everyone: …

Me: Um… okay?

Yugi: Wow. Cheese? Really Doma?

Me: It wasn't me! All I was doing was making obscure references to widely unpopular manga in order to confuse the readers, when Nny went all BOOMS!

Deadly: (Jumps from the ceiling)

Dib: As if the day couldn't get worse.

Deadly: That wasn't Nny. That was his evil cheesy clone.

Me: There are a lot of clones in this show…

Yugi: Where is Nny then?

Nny: (Walks onto the set)

Me: Are you made of cheese? Or is it ham this time?

Nny: …What?

Deadly: Eh… This is the real Nny.

Nny: (Stabs Deadly)

Everyone: …

Nny: I don't like her! Now, let's do something already.

Me: Sure. Let me do something first. (Takes out a remote control)

Everyone: …

Me: (Presses a button and a bomb in the office explodes)

Nny: Why did you…

Me: MOVING ON!

Deadly: THE SPARKLE!

Zim: AGHH! (Wakes up) SPARKLING!

Nny: …I don't want to know.

Me: Heh, anyway. FANFICTION! What is wrong with you people?

Gir: TOUCH DOWN!

Zim: SPAARKLEEEE!

Me: YES! Exactly! Let us kill masses!

Dib: That is not what they said!

Deadly: HAM IN THE CHEESE!

Yugi: Stop encouraging them!

Nny: (Leaves)

Me: What happened? What happened to you people? Let's start the reviews!

Deadly: First off, **SWEET KISSES**, by **Emo Fox**!

Yugi: Oh God… Zim, you might want to leave.

Zim: The spiky hair of filth cannot command me!

Yugi: Have it your way.

Me: Corny! So unreasonably corny! Red and Purple, and CANDY?

Yugi: You don't really like most yaoi anyways, so wouldn't your option be invalid?

Me: …

Yugi: And when it comes to romance, you pretty much fail.

Me: …

Yugi: …

Me: (Throws the corpse of a dead mole rat at Yugi)

Yugi: AGHHHH! (Flails)

Me: CHEEESEY!

Gir: Like NNY! (Rolls around in the clones cheesy body)

Zim: I don't get it. Are the Tallest giving me candy?

Me: Trust me, you don't want this candy.

Zim: GIVE IT TO ME!

Me: FINE! It is through the Mary Sue portal!

Zim: I AM ZIM! (Jumps through portal)

Dib: …That was completely pointless.

Me: NEXT!

Deadly: Next up, **Zim's parents** , by **The-lonely-loners**!

Me: Another Zim has parents? Zim has a twin sister? Zim is related to anyone? They are Irkens! They have no family, for they are hatched!

Yugi: AGH! (Throws mole rat on the floor)

Deadly: Zim COULD have parents.

Yugi: Yeah, few lines from some obscure unaired episode script aren't going to be read religiously by kids who've actually have better things to do.

Me: Stop that! The both of you!

Yugi: I read it over, and it wasn't bad. But the grammar could be better.

Deadly: True that. Zim's name is a NAME! It always should be capitalized! Dib, you are better off forgetting about.

Dib: HEY!

Deadly: In fact, just misspell it!

Dib: NO! DON'T LISTEN TO HER!

Me: The names, among other things… Feh. Fine. If this kid gets her story revised, I suppose she really rack it in with the reviews.

Yugi: See? You can be nice.

Me: (Glares)

Yugi: …Sometimes.

Deadly: Last one! **I Need, **by**You'veBeenJayed**!

Me: THIS STORY IS SO… SO…

Yugi: Great, another bashing.

Me: SO… AMAZING!

Yugi: …What?

Me: Out of the darkness, comes a great one-shot! I love it! Everyone is in character! It makes you think a little, and boy, it is even well written!

Yugi: Wow! I thought it was all going to be negative.

Me: I NEED my I NEED!

Yugi: Why don't you review the story?

Me: Maybe later.

Yugi: LAZY!

Deadly: Where is my Zimmy?

Me: In the MARY SUE WORLD!

**(In the Mary Sue World)**

Zim: My Tallest? My Tallest? WHERE ARE YOU?

Tallest Floopsy: Ah-HA! I am here Zim, my favorite invader!

Zim: … YOU are NOT my Tallest!

Tallest Boopsy: How about me?

Zim: NO. MY Tallest are not LAME. You are all STUPID!

Invader Hoe: ZIM! Let us have BABIES!

Zim: AGHHH! It is not physically possible! My Tallest, help me! HEEEELLLLPPP MEEEEEE!

**(Back on the set)**

Dib: I almost feel sorry for him. Almost.

Deadly: I'll save him! (Disappears suddenly)

Me: Well, that is all the time we have for today! Bye now!


	28. Moon Walking Angry Mobs

**Possibly the most idiotic chapter ever**

**I wrote this while eating candy corn**

**Edible death teeth of yummy**

**Heh…**

**Anyway, I hope I don't offend anyone with this chapter**

**It is a very risky chapter**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own stuff I didn't make and stuff!**

Zim: Give me the Emerald Dib!

Dib: No! You cannot handle its' power!

Zim: GIVE IT TO ZIM! I require the creatures it holds!

Dib: NEVER! (Jumps onto the table) The SHINNY PIKACHU IS MINES!

Zim: I SAW IT FIRST! (Tackles Dib)

(The two continues to roll on the floor, trying to wrestle the gameboy out of each others hands)

Yugi: What are they…?

Me: I tried to teach them how to share.

Yugi: Why?

Me: Because I knew it would fail! (Eats popcorn)

Yugi: … (Takes a handful of popcorn)

Deadly: (Walks in with a pile of papers) HEY! Why am I doing all the work?

Me: …What work?

Deadly: (Throws handfuls of paper at my face) THIS WORK!

Yugi: … WHAT work?

Me: (Looks at papers) Oh.

Deadly: Do something about this! I have more important things to do, like this! (Runs into a wall) DEADLY SMASH! (Punches wall)

Everyone: …

Me: Okay, it seems everyone wants to be in the show now.

Yugi: By _"everyone",_ you mean fictional characters, right?

Me: No.

Dib: A-HA! (Slams the Pokémon Emerald cartage on Zims' head)

Zim: AGHHHH! (Rubs head)

Dib: DIB SMASH!

Me: Shut up over there! By_ "everyone" _I mean real people. Reviewers'. Them. On here.

Deadly: (Wobbles back over) Ugh… But you didn't even let your own brother on the show.

Yugi: Wait, wasn't Flame Raising on the show?

Me: Yeah, but he isn't a real person.

Yugi: … I think he was.

Me: No, if he was, he wouldn't have poop that could write fanfiction.

Yugi: Good point.

Me: I wonder what would happen if he got constipated…

Deadly: Okay, shut up now.

Me: OR DIARRHEA!

Yugi: GOD! SHUT UP!

Me: Yeah, gross!

Yugi: New rule, you never are allowed to talk. Ever.

Me: But…

Yugi: MIND CRUSH!

Me: BLARRRSHH! (Faints)

Yugi: …There are so many reasons why I could not have physically done that; that I just don't care anymore.

Deadly: I think I am in love!

Yugi: GET AWAY FROM ME!

(Suddenly, all the lights go out)

Dib: AGHH!

Zim: HA! The human fears the DARKNESS!

Dib: No. Someone grabbed my ears!

(Lights flash on)

Michael Jackson: Hey everyone!

Dib: GHOST!

Zim: ORGAN EATTING ZOMBIE!

Yugi: You guys, that is no way to talk about a lady!

Michael Jackson: … I'm a guy.

Yugi: Oh. Sorry.

Michael Jackson: That is fine. You are from another universe, so it is only natural…

Phoenix Wright: STOP! This is a lawsuit waiting to happen! This is way too soon to be making jokes about Michael Jackson. There are way too many emotional readers!

Deadly: Where did you come from?

Phoenix: FROM FAIRY WORLD! (Explodes)

Michael Jackson: AHH!

Dib: That happens a lot, relax.

Michael Jackson: Oh… um… anyway, I am here to deliver a message.

Dib: FROM THE OTHER SIDE?

Michael Jackson: No. From Darth Vader.

Everyone: …

Deadly: I hate this _(Bleep) _show.

Michael Jackson: He says: Doma loves all her readers, but she won't be inviting any of them on the show. She is afraid this will cause unwanted chaos and confusion in both her fanfiction and in her readers. The most she will do is review stories and maybe answer a question sarcastically. Also, come to the Dark Side, we have… cookies? What?

Gir: I LIKE ME SOME COOKIES!

Zim: GIR! Where WERE you?

Gir: I was acting like a mongoose and disappearing! WHEEEE!

Michael Jackson: Well, I should be off. (Moon walks off the stage)

Dib: …Wait, was he the one that touched my ears?

Nny: (Appears next to Dib) No. That was me.

Dib: AGHHH! (Falls over)

Nny: … Why do you keep doing that?


	29. Dib just got TOLD

**I know it's been a while.**

**Remember, they have Invader Zim on the TV for ONE MONTH.**

**You may hear that there will be NO NEW EPISODES.**

**But rumors have it that they finally released an unaired episode. Also, if the show gets enough ratings, Invader Zim may get a reboot in the future.**

**This may be a good thing!**

**DISCLAIMER: You know the drill.**

Zim: DIB! You smell HORRIBLE!

Dib: …Why are you smelling me?

Gir: Mast'a has no nose. No nose master!

Zim: Quiet Gir!

Yugi: Okay guys, I guess I'm in charge.

Zim: What? You, a spiked haired loser is going to be in charge?

Yugi: I am not a loser Zim.

Dib: You play card games for a living.

Yugi: I also saved the world.

Dib: So have I.

Yugi: And people don't call me crazy.

Dib: …

Yugi: And I actually win. Not just temporally delay the problem.

Dib: …

Yugi: And I have a girlfriend.

Dib: …

Yugi: AND my series had a satisfying conclusion. Unlike yours.

Dib: (Attacks Yugi furiously) I'LL KILL YOU! KIILLLLL!

Yugi: AGhh! GET OFF OF ME!

(The two continue to fight)

Deadly: So I guess I'm in charge!

Gaz: Why isn't Doma here?

Deadly: Doma is a bit… occupied.

00000

Doma: (making a sandwich) …Now where is that lemon pepper? Oh! Avocado!

00000

Deadly: (Shrugs) I'm supposed to give some news.

Zim: What sort of new?

Deadly: Well…

Zim: WHAT NEWS?

Deadly: The show-

Zim: WHAT?

Deadly: The sho-

Zim: WHAT IS IT?

Deadly: The-

Zim: TELL ZIM NOW!

Deadly AGHHh! (Attacks Zim)

Gir: (Attacks Deadly) ZOMBIE! I LOVES YOU!

Gaz: (Leaves)

((The show is now in complete chaos))

000000

Doma: (Sits down in front of the TV)

TV: INVADER ZIM is now back for ONE MONTH ONLY!

Doma: (Eats the sandwich calmly)


End file.
